I got some drugs today and after sleeping for pretty much the fourth straight day in a row, I think it’s finally making a difference. Throat still hurts like hell and it’s kinda tough to talk, but I really should go back to work tomorrow…
For those of you not in the know, I’ve been sick recently. That having been said, I’ve also been experimenting with some new drugs to help remedy the problem and I’ve come across these new lozenges that are just fabulous. They’re said to help with the pain of a sore throat by “numbing key regions of the mouth” and boy, do they do just that! I first tried one at work last night and I was concerned for a while if I’d be able to talk on the phone anymore that night – they have some sort of anesthetic in them which just numbs the hell out of pretty much anything it touches, so within probably fifteen minutes the pain was gone, but so was the feeling in roughly 2/3 of my tongue. An interesting solution, but one that I wish I’d found much earlier, nonetheless…
And how cool is my Grandpa? Apparently he had my name in the family drawing, so Friday night I came home to find a box from Amazon.com in the mail containing the first two seasons of Family Guy on DVD – woot!
It’s 42 degrees outside right now – damn, that’s cold! Well, at least as compared to last week’s temps. What a great time to be sick!
Ok, so it actually took me until this afternoon during lunch to read the paper from Monday about Saddam, so here’s my three cents. I guess I’m playing the conspiracy theorist on this issue, but I know that I’m not alone in saying this – I don’t think it’s really him. Why? Allow me to count the reasons…
1. It just seems too easy. Don’t get me wrong, I know that our armed forces have put in countless hours and lives to this cause, but seriously – this guy has been eluding us for fifteen years and we find him in a fucking hole?! I ain’t buying it.
2. It’s amazingly easy to pass along the blame to others when “they’ve already got you.” All the bad stuff in the world will have to be somebody else’s fault (…Osama’s…) because how does one commit hate crimes from prison???
3. Like somebody told me earlier today, “He gave up without a fight?!” There was an interview in that paper from an ex-marine or something that basically said – this is a man who was documented to have been cornered in the past, emptied every last bullet from his gun into his opponents and thrown the gun itself at them before jumping into a nearby river and swimming to safety. Guys like that don’t just give up without a fight.
4. And of course, who’s due up for re-election here shortly?! Saturday night everyone hated Bush because he’s basically been the most worthless president we’ve ever experienced, but really, who wouldn’t vote for the guy who caught Saddam? I’m not necessarily saying that he was behind it or anything, a la Wag the Dog, but it sure does seem awfully convenient!
And then answer me this – if this man has been responsible for the misery and / or death of millions of people, then why is he still alive? This isn’t one of these folks that falls under the whole “innocent until proven guilty rule” anymore than Hitler or the rulers of the Ottoman Empire – the order was dead or alive, so now that he’s in the sights, what’s the hold up???
That’s right, it’s all about the media coverage…
Last night I got an e-mail from my publisher saying that the coverage area for the paper has been increased from eight counties to ten, meaning that we’re pretty much the largest free paper in Northern Michigan now! According to fairly reliable websites, this means that approximately 150,000 people in these counties can pick up a paper at their local newsstand and read any number of tales featuring the creativity and splendor of yours truly –
drinks cookies are on me!!!
Tonight I baked cookies…but this is only the beginning!
One of my favorite things about the holidays is the baking, so I’ve got an entire list of desserts and so forth to create over the next few weeks. As far as I’m concerned, if you believe that such a smell exists that is more delicious than that of said Christmas cookies, then it’s really my civic duty to change your mind! Tonight was cinnamon sugar cookies, while I do believe that tomorrow night will be assorted bars, so bring your taste buds and stop on by…
Never ceasing to entertain me!
In an effort to keep it real and expand my horizons, I’ve decided to venture forth into the uncharted corners of the literary world and explore some strange and new grounds. The characters are real, the emotions are real, and the rhymes are shaky at best – apparently you don’t really even need them in modern poetry anyways!
So here’s my latest creation – hope all of you peeps and chickies out there dig it…
The Disgruntled Stranger
by: Scott Sevener
It was an evening unlike any other,
the stars twinkling behind a moonlight sky
with a beautiful iridescence that might’ve mattered
had the roof been ripped off by a hurricane or something.
I was out of celery, and I really like celery.
So I came to your store
…ok, not technically your store, but you were working there at the time…
and it seemed only logical that everything would work out for the best.
Sometimes logic doesn’t always apply when you’re dealing with jerks.
As often it seems,
I needed a few other items as well…
and some of those little cocktail weenies that are endorsed by Al from Home Improvement.
Aren’t those just delicious?!
I approached the checkout line, my arms full of much more than the celery that I originally came for.
I always forget to grab one of those little baskets, and this is my punishment.
Your gaze is like that of an intoxicated water buffalo,
almost as if you spent your last break smoking cheap grass out behind the dumpster.
And I get the feeling that your lack of enthusiasm about my purchases at this store
might be lessened considerably if you were actually conscious to witness the act.
I can almost taste the marijuana from where I’m standing.
But I say nothing as you fumble with each item to find the barcode, forgetting that I’m going to want to actually eat this stuff later.
I say nothing as you carry on with the cashier in the next lane about “where you’ll be partying when you get out of this hell hole in a couple of hours.”
And I say nothing as you proceed to bag each of my four, relatively small items in individual bags.
My total stutters from your lips as if you’re a baby just trying to speak for the first time…
Is your job really this difficult???
As I hand you a wad of bills from my wallet, your glare implies that I might as well have given you a handful of pennies…or even pebbles from the parking lot.
Time lapses and I swear I see my life flash before my eyes as you calculate the $2.23 change that I have coming.
You hand me $1.67, with a look that screams the war-cry of a rebelious youth,
but this time I’m not going to let it slide.
Fucking kids are gonna have to learn sometime…
I take my receipt and proceed to the nearest manager,
explaining that I’m still fifty-six cents short and that one of his cashiers is high as a kite.
We return to your lair and the tall, pasty general, power-tie and all, tells you to finish giving me my change.
I can feel the “fuck-you” in your eyes, as I grin from ear to ear and place the coins in my pocket.
Turning to leave, I know that you won’t be far behind me.
I might feel bad about costing you your job, but you didn’t really even like it anyways.
And besides, I am the customer…and the customer is always right.
As I leave your store, I look up to see that the sky truly does look beautiful tonight.
I wonder if you will notice this when you pass through these same doors.
Oh well – tonight will be a great tonight for some celery!
Today I’m going to be productive. I feel completely rested and I am now ready to take on this massive backlog of work that I have sitting before me. This day off will be one to remember because it shall be from now on referred to as The Day That Scott Was Productive.
Just call me Mr. Productivity – yeah, that’s the ticket!