those CRAZY Christians…

October 18, 2006 11:51pm
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Oh boy – the CAP is at it again!

http://www.capalert.com/now_playing.htm

Somebody posted this link on BoingBoing earlier today and it reminded me of a good, old fun time that we had parodying the site back in the very earliest of days with Just Laugh. For those lucky enough to be unaware, these folks make Ebert’s reviews look about like Bert from Sesame Street’s reviews…had Bert been a movie critic, that is. They’re basically a hardcore Christian group that dissects American culture to help parents decide what is truly “appropriate” for their children. Sadly for most parents, that only leaves about two flicks total that your children can safely watch without being whisked straight off to hell.

Nonetheless, I’m sometimes amused by what they’ve managed to manifest out of some of my favorite films:

Disney / Pixar’s Cars
repeated flatulence
“lite” repeated sexual innuendo
the reckless taking of chances

Armageddon
a woman in the bed of a staff man for sexual purposes (covered) and a prone dressed woman atop a prone dressed man
talk of satisfaction from sex out of wedlock
one case of suicide (hidden under heroism)

Dogma
(really, I would’ve expected nothing less, but the sheer volume of pages that they dissected amuses me!)
promotion of being gay
adults in underwear
suggestive eye movement
demon of human feces (the Rubber Poop Monster!!!)
AND OF COURSE, mayhem

Here’s the full list of 1000+ movies that they’ve reviewed if you want to kill some time by seeing how the other half live…

2 Responses to those CRAZY Christians…

  1. The car in Cars is going to hell for calling someone a fool.

    I wonder if that’s why Mr T says “foo”… he’s trying to avoid eternal damnation.

  2. scott says:

    Good for T – always finding a way to beat the system!

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