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If there’s one decoration that won’t ever be making an appearance in my home around the holidays, it’s Elf on the Shelf.

Because good god, are these things just undeniably creepy?!  😯

Their photos on Facebook make me cringe when I see all of the “creative” ways that parents pose them for their kids to discovery each day, and yet all I see is a creepy doll that one day is going to stab you in your sleep with a candy cane or burn your Christmas tree down – you know, in that playful sort of way, like elves do!

Apparently the story behind Elf on the Shelf, because yes, there’s a story!, is that these elves are actually spies sent by Santa to keep track of who’s been naughty and nice … who then proceed to totally screw off on the job themselves by getting caught in all sorts of compromising, mischievous situations themselves, many of which happen to be the exact things that they’d be writing children up for.

Double standard, much?!

Need more proof? Here are five other people who agree with me, each a little more disturbing than the last…

Seriously, that last one is pretty messed up – it’s one of those animations from Taiwan that does “commentary” on trends in the US … very NSFW, or even NSFH, for that matter! And yet there’s a strong likelihood that they’ve hit the nail right on the head and that one day Elf on the Shelf will rise up against the other toys and the parents and ultimately even its own creator to rule Christmas for all of its creepy self.

So no, I’d rather not have one of these living holiday devils around my house to terrorize my family after the lights go out, thank you very much…

😈 :santa: 😈

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