Jesus. H. THAT’S A MOTHERFUCKING COCKROACH ON MY CEILING Christ.

fuckingcockroach

A) This is like the third one we’ve found in the last couple of months – the other two have been in the bathroom, and I’m not sure which is worse.

2) How in the world am I supposed to kill a cockroach that’s on the ceiling, anyways?! Anyone who’s ever tried to kill a cockroach on the floor knows that they’re basically invincible! There’s only one way that this goes down – I smack it with something, it falls and lands on me, and then I die – case closed.

😕 😕 😕

Ok, so actually I already took care of it. You don’t think that I’d be sitting here writing this post with a cockroach dangling over my head, now would I?!

To be honest, it did go down sort of like #2 … I ended up squashing it with the Swiffer, which I think is the only time I’ve ever used that thing. I held the thing in place for a good minute, trying to smash it as well as I could from ten feet below on the floor and more importantly, without giving it the opportunity to make a mad dash.

When I finally pulled away the Swiffer, it fell as expected (though thankfully not into my face) and stumbled around a bit, so I slammed the Swiffer back into the carpet to hold it in place while I found a more formidable weapon to finish him off. I ended up grabbing a nearby candle jar (Apple Pumpkin Aromabeads, if you must ask – there will be a review up on the site about it tomorrow…) and with one fell swoop, I took that little motherfucker’s head clean off the second I lifted the Swiffer off of its back.

So far I feel no remorse, though I do keep checking the ceiling now for his buddies. Talk about a creepy way for bugs to attack – it’s not bad enough to sneak in under the door, so now they’ve got to drop in from above like out of some kind of Scott’s Personal Horror Movie?!

*shudder*

I’m tired and also petrified now. If anybody needs me, I’m going to go sleep outside … where it’s safe.

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