1. People who take the baggers at the grocery store up on carrying their bags out to their car, even though they clearly don’t need the help and just don’t feel like carrying it themselves. I know that it’s a store policy to offer, but it still seems like something that should be reserved for those who really need it.
  2. People who don’t STOP when they see you backing out of a parking space, instead zipping around you and then acting like you’re the asshole for not letting them go first.
  3. When the cashier at CVS just assumes that I don’t have a CVS card and doesn’t even ask. I don’t carry the actual card on me, but I always give our phone number when they ask because one of these days we might actually remember to use the points!
  4. People who drive more than 10 mph under the speed limit, taking it upon themselves to regulate traffic in our neighborhood.
  5. Whoever complained to the HOA that our front lawn needs to be re-sodded … even though it totally does because it really looks like shit right now and I highly doubt that any amount of water, fertilizer, and/or love can bring it back from the dead at this point.
  6. That there aren’t any real IMAX screens in our area anymore because I miss seeing movies on a ridiculously gigantic screen.
    1. We technically still have the dome, but that doesn’t count for completely unfair reasons because I’ve never actually been there…
    2. …and as far as those mini-IMAX screens are concerned, those have never counted in my book…
  7. I’ve been walking a lot more at night lately, but the bugs must be looking at me like I’m a feast carrying a leash because I’m coming back way too bitten up to make it worth the effort.
    1. …unless that helps me to lose weight quicker, then dine away…
  8. That the next Lego mosaic that I want to do is going to cost me a small fortune in bricks and it’s not even for me!
  9. People who fish in retention ponds, despite there being a clearly written, highly visible No Fishing! sign literally feet from where they’re standing. Like, they must’ve had to walk by the thing to get to the pond! Plus, A) do you have any idea what kind of chemicals they put in there?! and 2) the fish that do live in there are there to keep the bugs down, not give your hillbilly ass something to do in between episodes of Family Feud!
    1. And it’s not like we don’t have veritable crap-tons of fishing places that aren’t retention ponds all around the area! Remember that big GULF that we live on?!
  10. The fact that I still don’t have AC in my car. Seriously.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

© 1999 - 2019 Comedic-Genius Media, All Rights Reserved.