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It’s funny when you look back and realize just how hard it is at training your body to not want the horrible crap that you’ve been feeding it for years and years and years!

That’s something that I’ve realized lately that I really need to tackle because although I’ve done marginally ok with my last task of upping the breakfast and tea antes appropriately, over the last couple of months I’ve probably circumvented whatever good effects have resulted by stuffing myself full of pizza and chips and other miscellaneous junk food the other five meals of the day.

…so that sucks, but we’re trying…

The last couple of days have been a bit of a mental battle as I’ve tried to steer myself away from my usual snacking and eating and towards that real food target that I’m gunning for. And it’s been tough because we really haven’t done much grocery shopping for actual meals lately – instead, one of us runs to the store and buys whatever they want to eat for the next couple of days … and a lot of it is usually crap … and then a day or so later, the other will go. So on my part, there have been a lot of hot dogs and frozen pizzas and microwave chicken – easy stuff – of course, coupled with lots of junk from the bakery and snack aisles that taste delicious, but end up disappearing and thus making me feel like crap two days later when I’m like, “Seriously – those cookies lasted how long?!”

I’m actually pretty proud of our trip to the store last night, though – lots of produce, some meats and cheeses, and almost no junk carbs to speak of whatsoever!

As you can see, I had kiwi as a snack last night and what inspired this post is the notion that even though at the time I could’ve plowed through a bag of Sweet Chili Doritos just the same, instead I had a kiwi and a cup of tea and not only was it hundreds of calories better for me, but I ended up feeling a lot better about myself when I was done. I think that’s important and is going to come into play here more in the future as I try to reprogram my brain to be less dependent on chips and cookies and other snacks with hopes of enjoying other snacks like fruits and vegetables just the same.

I mean, I’ve done it once before – it’s been over three years since I gave up on drinking soda and I really don’t think that I’ve ever looked back. There was a time when I used to like a Coke with certain meals, but even that has changed for the better – I pretty much steer clear from soda altogether unless it has some sort of booze mixed in with it.

…which isn’t very often at all, mind you!  😉

In a way, it’s a little sad because I’ve enjoyed some of these foods for so long, but it goes along the lines of facing growing older – if I want to enjoy as much of it as I possibly can, these changes need to happen. Plus, the wife and I have talked about it a lot and we REALLY don’t want to pass these kinds of bad habits on down to our kid now, either. I don’t want him to struggle with being overweight for decades because he was taught all growing up that eating five Oreos at a time is ok. I want our house to be the kind of home where there’s always lots of fresh fruits and vegetables around, and we cook actual meals instead of heating them up or deep frying them, and eating is something that you do for fuel, not just because you’re bored.

In retrospect, it’s also a little shameful to look at the calendar and realize that I’ve been conscious about my weight for over a decade now – pretty much ever since I moved to Florida in 2003. That’s way too much of a person’s life to be living it so poorly … if I had a time machine, I’d go back and tell my 20-something self – who was only a little overweight at the time – that it really does get a lot worse if he doesn’t take diet & exercise a little more seriously in between chugging cans of Dr. Pepper and playing Warcraft 3 until four in the morning!

If it takes a little bit of guilt to keep me away from the bad foods and steer me towards the ones that’ll keep me around as long as possible, then maybe I deserve it at this point. And I don’t mean that in a negative way – I mean that very much in a realistic way.

I’m feeling surprisingly good about my direction as of the last three or four days – now let’s see if we can talk the scale into reflecting that. 8)

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