I’m honestly not sure if I ever actually was included in one or not, but I frequented a couple of sites that had them and was very jealous of the copious amounts of social fun times that all of their members clearly enjoyed, so for a while I posted my own “cam photos” on comedic-genius.com … I think with the intent of eventually working up the nerve to submit to one of them?

In retrospect, I seemed to like the method of taking a proper picture with a real camera and then using Photoshop to insert the quippy text afterwards instead of having a web cam pointed at me 24×7 and overlaying random quotes or whatever on top of whatever it captured.

Remember, this was long, long before the age of selfies and Instagram and even – *gasp* – moblogging! So you were lucky to get a few witty updates a week in between whatever the hell else we did on the Internet back in the early ’00s!

I stumbled across these when I was hunting for those old blog posts that I just shared, so for the sake of full disclosure … here’s what I looked like back when I had long hair and lived in my Mom’s basement (for about half of them) and divided my time between playing PS2 games and cultivating my budding online publishing empire… 😉

For years and years, my blog here on scottsevener.com was a mirror image of the blogging that I started over at LiveJournal – at least from 2003 – 2011, anyways, until I moved over here and stopped blogging over there. But still, 14 years of blogging always seemed like an impressive archive of the non-formatted writing that I’ve done over the years…

…until now!

Because do you want to know what’s even more impressive than 14 years of blogging?

How about 15 years of blogging?!?!?!

After I wrote my post last week reminiscing about my first adventures of Internetting a la Grex, I got to thinking that even though I technically started blogging on LiveJournal in the spring of 2003 … there was actually some “blogging” that I also did on comedic-genius.com way back when that was the only domain I had other than Just Laugh!

Thankfully I’m a bit of a digital packrat, so I was able to find the old PHP files that made up the original comedic-genius.com that served as the same sort of hub site for my online work that this one does now. But it was sooooo much more grueling because long before the days of adopting WordPress, I created my sites the hard way by coding directly in Notepad – a combination of HTML and PHP in all, with every formatting tag and line break typed by hand instead of this fancy WYSIWYG-editor that is a staple in every major CMS today! 😯

From what I can tell, I did use some sort of blogging software called Fusion PHP … according to the comment tags, anyways … but it was barely a CMS in that I still typed everything by hand and posts were just stored one after another in PHP files as they appeared on the page.

So anyways – I just finished copying the last of 23 new blog posts from 2002 into this site because, err, why not?!

I can’t really vouch for their readability or entertainment value … they’re mostly a mixture of updates about whatever columns I had just finished writing and random life happenings … so I’ll leave that up to you to judge the worth of a 22-year-old’s late night ramblings! 😛

Still, you know me – I think it’s neat to have this kind of stuff to look back at from time to time over the years, and so here are another 11,000 words to add to the pile when reflection time is upon me once again.

By the way – just for reference, I tried to update links wherever I could because all of the humor columns are still available today as well as some of the Just Laugh features, but others never/haven’t yet made it into the latest version so don’t be surprised if a few links here and there appear to be dead-ends.

For what it’s worth, I still think my linking history success rate is probably considerably better than most sites linking back to content from fifteen years ago! 😀

Long before Facebook and Twitter, building my own websites, and even a graphical interface to the Internet in general … there was a Host: prompt.

This is what we saw when we “got online” … at least after fighting for dial-up access lines at the local library that would get snapped up like hotcakes the moment kids started getting out of school. Of course, it probably didn’t help that you had kids like me who would literally connect for hours and hours at a time, whether I was chatting with strangers from around the state or exploring whatever random bits of information gopher found for me or even hacking and slashing my way through MUDs before World of Warcraft and other MMORPGs ever became a thing!

One of the very first sites that I ever came across while surfing this strange, new text-based world was a BBS-like community online called Grex. Living in the middle of nowhere, we didn’t really have much for BBSes because everything would’ve been long-distance, so aside from a single friend’s BBS that his parents let him run out of their lake house when they weren’t there to need the line, Grex was really the first multi-user community I found where multiple users could actually be online at the same time!

In addition to just random chat rooms that would fill with other high school and college kids, as well as the local computer club enthusiasts that ran the place, I eventually also got involved with their forums (which they called conferences). I settled upon a group that talked about pretty much everything that a 14 year-old me was interested in … video games, RPGs, and a little Magic: The Gathering, and that’s where I would do my socializing after school while other kids were out doing whatever normal kids did back in 1994…

It kind of impresses me that some 23 years later, Grex is actually still out therethough from reading through the conferences it’s a shell of its former self and likely only hasn’t been shuttered simply because it would be too much effort. But you can actually still see all of my old posts either by browsing the links below or even better by searching for one of my usernames.

From what I can tell, I had three different ones during my time there:

  • seveners – my first and most unoriginal username
  • setzer – the suave gambler from Final Fantasy 3 (VI)
  • gandalf – we all know who he is…

Stumbling back across this stuff is enough to make me wonder if it’s worth trying to archive this stuff for posterity somehow, though it’s kind of like a half-step ahead from reading private emails … I guess the idea of it all is really more nostalgic than the actual content!

Still, I could run a quick script against it and stuff them in an archive somewhere to find again in another 20 years and that might be neat, even if only to see if I can still remember what Final Fantasy and Magic and Game Genie codes ever were in the first place. 😉

Kids will be kids…

December 26, 2002 3:41am
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Boys Eat Cat That Stole Christmas Dinner

(December 24, 2002 via Reuters / Yahoo! News)

NAIROBI (Reuters) – Three Kenyan schoolboys were arrested for eating a cat they suspected of stealing chickens set aside for their Christmas feast, newspapers reported on Tuesday.

The three boys aged 12-14 killed, skinned and roasted the cat for lunch last Thursday, the state-owned Kenya News Agency (KNA) reported. They were arrested after complaints from residents in Mororo village in eastern Kenya.
Merry Christmas! 🙂

The Tribe Has Spoken…

December 21, 2002 2:07am
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Well, the votes have been tallied, or that’s what I’m told, and I’m officially the 15th person to be voted out of the tribe in Humor Columnist Survivor. It kinda sucks because it was all because of a silly little technicality that was pointed out concerning the last immunity challenge, but then again I didn’t honestly think that I was going to make it this far in the first place, so I suppose that sixth place (out of 19) isn’t too shabby for a small-town boy from Michigan! I was up against some pretty amazing writers, and I also beat the pants off of the not-so-amazing ones – altogether it was a good time and I’m glad that Greg gave me the opportunity to take part.

My only regret is that I didn’t think of the whole idea first!

As a member of the losers circle, though, I do have one last request to my legions of fans – take your voting power and ensure that Erik Deckers takes this thing home! The rest of the contestants are great and all, but Erik’s been associated with Just Laugh the longest and since Angela already won herself a Weenie Award earlier this year, the boy definitely deserves it! Let’s make it happen, people… 😉

You all should also be aware that Survivor: Thailand finished up over the week, and I must say that this was finally a season where I was truly satisfied with the winner. I’m sure that most of the ladies saw Brian as a humungous jerk, and he certainly didn’t help that image of himself in the final tribal council, but out of all the contestants, he definitely played the game the best and deserved the million dollars…regardless of if he actually needed the money, or had a thriving career as a porn star before he did the show, or any other bs-excuse that you want to come up with because “your guy” didn’t win. I was a bit shocked to see just how close it turned out, as I assumed that it would’ve been a dead giveaway up against Clay, but then again, you know what they say about assumptions! 😮

Will I watch again next season? Absolutely! Even though the environment (The Amazon) already looks like it’s got Thailand: Part 2 written all over it, I’ll definitely be there every week, waiting to see what new goodies Mark Burnett has cooked up for us. People ridicule the show every time it comes around, but really, what’s there to complain about? Here’s a guy that just happened to hit upon a television goldmine and he’s going to tap that thing until it’s dry – the show’s been on for five seasons already, with a sixth due out in two months and casting already occurring for the seventh, and fewer and fewer shows on TV nowadays are able to pull off those kinds of numbers anymore. Other than The Real World, Burnett’s easily got the entire genre at his feet and he’d be foolish not to play that for all it’s worth!

Now if only I could find some way to exploit this new-found success…stay tuned for all the scheming details after the new year! 😎

Well, well, well – you’re certainly in for a treat this time around! Not only do I have an update or two for your ogling pleasure, but you’re even getting a column that won’t be appearing in Just Laugh for another two days!!! That’s right – somehow I’ve managed to get it done ahead of time for a change and being the nice guy that I am, I’m throwing it up here first for your enjoyment…I just hope it doesn’t suck… 😳

I feel it’s also important to mention that an interview I did earlier last month with the guys from KewlBox Entertainment – you know, the guys who made Elf Bowling, Santa Balls, and loads of other games that you’ve played at work while the boss isn’t looking – has been up at Just Laugh for a week or three now and people seem to love it, so maybe you will, too? Dan Ferguson & Mike Bielinski are both great guys and the whole thing just flowed really well…it was a blast to do and I’m told that it’s terribly hilarious, which sounds like a compliment to me! Anywho, if you’re looking to read a nice, down-to-earth interview with two of the coolest guys in the industry, I’d recommend that you check it out:

It’s a busy time for me, too, but hopefully I’ll have a couple more things for everyone by the end of the year…at least one for sure – we’ll see how things go and if I really feel like writing anything after the new toys come a rollin’ in! Hehehe…and just in case you haven’t done your shopping yet and still need to pick up something to show your favorite comedic genius just how much you really care, I’ve put together a list of a few last-minute items that I wouldn’t mind finding under the tree! Sure, they’re a tad on the expensive side, but that’s what you get for putting it off until the last minute, you lazy bastards…

5. Tri-Lam Dry Suit ($749.95 @ Divers Supply) – Anyone whose dove in Northern Michigan knows that it’s cold as hell during the summer, so that pretty much rules out any off-season diving altogether! Nonetheless, there are crazy people who do it, and they all have nice, warm drysuits like this one…help me be a crazy person, too!

4. 100 acres of rainforest (~$3985.00 @ World Land Trust) – I’ve got this great Venezualian shopping center that I’ve been wanting to build…just kidding! Quite a noble cause, I do believe, and they could certainly use the help.

3. Gibson Les Paul Custom Electric Guitar, with a wine red finish, ebony fingerboard, and silver hardware ($2,599.99 @ Gibson’s Custom Shop) – I need some serious motivation to get into the swing of things again and let me tell you, there’s no better motivation than a three thousand dollar axe that just screams rock ‘n roll! Lifelong backstage passes when I’m famous to whoever makes this one come true…

2. Pioneer 50″ 16:9 Widescreen Plasma HDTV Flat-Panel TV ($10,999.99 @ Best Buy) – Most everyone knows that I don’t do theaters unless it’s supposed to be a colossal showing (the fame has a downside…), so it only makes sense to have the best setup available in my living room right at home. I first fell in love with this beauty when I saw a display model in the store and it’s the closest thing to being there that I’ve ever seen…and they say that money can’t buy happiness!

1. Some Time Off So That I Can Work on My Novel (??? @ Just Laugh) – I’ve got ideas burning holes in my notepad, but I just never seem to have the time needed to work them out into the typical witty banter that I’m known for…so if somebody could just, like, do all of my work for like maybe, oh I don’t know, six months or something, then maybe I could make a little headway with this thing…

So there’s my list for those who asked – now get cracking! And I’ll probably regret ever posting this, but I’ve decided to finally break down and give the whole webcam-thing another whirl. Someone recently pointed out to me that my cam over at Just Laugh hasn’t been updated since I bought the camera, so I got motivated and took my first official cam picture for Comedic-Genius.com – who knows, maybe you’ll see my face end up in one of those famous cam-portals eventually or something. It’s amazing what will pass as humorous at three in the morning…

Until next time – only eight more shopping days left…use them wisely! 😎

As much as I hate to say it, I think winter’s finally here to stay. How do I know this? Well, the snow out in my driveway which is actually going to require mechanical removal would be my first hint, along with a consistent nagging by my wet socks after wadding through it to back up the theory! Yes, tomorrow’s going to be just a freakin’ blast… 😡

There does come a bit of goodness from all of this, though, as with the coming of winter also inevitably comes my favorite holiday of all – Christmas!!! Even though the house will be lacking the aesthetic qualities (i.e. lights) due to the moving thing this year, I’ve still got plenty of columns and other goodies to brighten your holiday, starting with this little piece below. My original intention, actually, was for this to be a Thanksgiving piece, but things got a little out of control – what can you do?

I also wanted to do a little plugging in this post, not for me actually, even though I could stand to see a bit of cash out of it if the proper response is drummed up! You see, my Dad has been building wooden boats, kayaks to be precise, for the last several years, both as gifts for friends and family and for himself. Well, he’s decided that this was as good a time as any to make an attempt at selling the things professional, so I offered to pitch in a hand and help get a website up and running for the cause. I did finally finish the project a week or two ago, so I would like to take this opportunity to shout out a little ad for the site in hopes that maybe someone out there will be interested in buying a boat of their own. I do think that some clarification is necessary – these aren’t your average run-of-the-mill, mass-produced kayaks. Each one is hand-crafted to the users exact specifications and the pieces are a real beauty before they even touch the water. I won’t lie to you – they ain’t cheap, either – but if you’ve got the money to spend and are looking for a great craft, I’d suggest that you take a look:

Natural Wood Kayaks, by Blue Water Boats

One last note before I go do something productive! I got a little bored this weekend and decided to look a little further into cataloging my DVD collection. I’d considered actually putting together the entire program myself, as some practice with databases and whatnot, but after coming across this program, it hardly seemed to be worth the effort – the old phrase, “No sense in re-inventing the wheel…” came to mind! The software is called DVD Profiler and it allows both an online, web-based interface and a stand-alone client for your home computer, and that alone was enough to sell me…but wait, there’s more! Behind the software sits a user-built database (much like the IMDB, although I couldn’t say whether or not this uses the same information), containing every little detail you could ever imagine about the DVD, from special features to plot summaries to a complete catalog of the actors and actresses involved – it’s really an impressive setup. You can enter your discs either by title, UPC (I did this for most of mine), or you can even insert each disc and let the auto-detect find them if you have a DVD drive in your computer, so entry is pretty painless. They even give you the opportunity to create a wish list, which I thought was a great idea for the upcoming holidays and even though you won’t find me doing the same at Amazon.com or anywhere else, I did manage to throw a few requests up here! I should also add that the software allows you to navigate your own wishlist and make purchases from the major retailers, all while comparing prices within, so that was a neat little extra, too. Summing it up, if you’re a home theater geek like I am and are looking for a great program to help you keep track of it all, along with a method to point the relatives in the right direction when doing your shopping, I’d certainly recommend that you give DVD Profiler a try…

If you’re really bored, or just want to see how much of my money I’ve blown on DVDs so far, click here to see the mother load!

(my wishlist is accessible from that link, too…happy hunting!)  😉

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot…

This story jumped out at me several weeks ago and just refused to let go, so I thought I’d hold on to it until I had the opportunity to share it with somebody:

Looking Forward to a Laugh? Good for You… (courtesy of Yahoo! News)

Apparently this thing that I’ve been doing just might have some positive benefits after all!!! Read two of my columns and call me in the morning… (no, better make it three!)

And for those who are, for whatever reason, interested in this sort of stuff, you should also know that I finally got off my keister and started reading the first of the Harry Potter books this weekend, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Before the uninformed and ill-read get too many laughs in, though, I feel the need to stress that the hype has been absolutely correct – these books are fabulous, or at least this one is so far! Of course, I grew up on the likes of Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, so one might assume that I’d be a bit jaded towards the new guy in town, but I must say that it’s quite reassuring to know that the fantasy world of knights and wizards and dragons is being revived for another generation.

Vs.

Of course, HBO has been playing the crap out of the movie lately because of the current success of its sequel, so it’ll be interesting to see the differences between the two and whether or not it holds up to the whole “The book is always better than the movie…” ideology once I get done. Nonetheless, I can say now that, without a doubt, if you’re looking for a funny and entertaining book to help pass the time that would otherwise end up getting spent talking to relatives over the next few days, then look no further because you’ve got yourself an easy pick right here! From ages 8 to 80, if you haven’t read this book yet and don’t plan to in the near future, I feel sorry for you… 🙄

You see, it’s not that I don’t update this site very often, it’s just that I never seem to get around to posting the official news concerning said updates. I think I did manage to figure this one out, though – if you hadn’t noticed, I’m not the type of person that can simply post a few words or even just a few sentences, so these posts tend to become quite verbose. The odd thing is that I have been writing a lot lately in the last two weeks and it’s this intense, bury myself under mountains of work-ethic that I’ve got going that prevents me from actually announcing my progress…“Well, I could just do the post now, or if I wait until tomorrow I can include this piece, too…” And so on, but now I’ve finally reached a breaking point, so let’s see if I can even remember everything that’s gone down…

The first project that was completed actually went up back near the beginning of the month and although I’m certainly glad to have it over with by now, it was very possibly the best feature that I’ve ever put together for Just Laugh. Appropriately titled A Tale of Two Summers…, this piece combined the talents of twenty-five writers from around the world to produce one of the most bizarre (and hilarious) stories you’ll ever read! The original concept stems back to days spent in various creative writing classes where we would work on a dozen or so pieces at a time by passing notebooks around the room and adding our own ideas to each respective plotline within a predetermined time – usually five minutes or something. Well, we changed things around just a little bit, lengthening the writing period a bit and only involving people who were actually funny, along with a new rule which really twisted things up – each writer was only allowed to read the chapter which came directly before their own during the writing process. Needless to say, it got extremely confusing and I will admit that we did need to do a bit of prodding from time to time to lead the story back in the general direction we were shooting for, but no matter how wacky some of the chapters got, the end product was more than we had ever expected and definitely worth your time if you’ve got a lazy afternoon to kill…

Our next stop along this journey takes a stab at everyone’s favorite holiday for dressing up in ridiculous outfits and gorging themselves with sweets, Halloween! The following column was actually originally intended to be included in Just Laugh’s Halloween issue itself, but instead we opted to throw it in with our big feature of the season, Just Laugh’s (Belatedly) Complete Guide to Halloween. This really turned out to be a complex project, as we didn’t want to simply throw together a list of our Halloween tributes from the year before…and I’m assuming that it would’ve been even funnier had we actually gotten it online somewhere in the general vicinity of Halloween rather than Thanksgiving, but hey, what can you do? Nonetheless, the column is still a good read and come to think of it, so is the entire feature in general, so you just might want to check both of them out…just in case!

Next in line is Humor Columnist Survivor! Honestly, I don’t have any idea how I’ve managed to make it this far because the other five contestants are all amazing writers, but hey, who’s gonna argue? We’re on something like the 14th week by now, so I suppose we might as well just take this thing right to the end! My next two columns actually somehow got dedicated to the competition, although I sure as hell didn’t plan it that way! It seems that not days after I had written the first column, I got notice from Greg (the main man behind HCS) that automatic immunity would be granted to anyone who wrote a new column within the next week pertaining to the topic of…grilled cheese. I was a bit confused, too, but I certainly wasn’t about to risk getting kicked out of the tribe over a freakin’ sandwich, so I did come up with a little something – it’s very 5 AM-ish, if you will, but honestly – grilled cheese?!

And so this brings us nearly up to speed, with the exception of one final column. As many of you may be aware of already, firearm season here in Northern Michigan has been open now for about a week. I have never been, nor will I ever be, a hunting person, and after seeing one too many carcasses while driving down the road, I finally snapped…

So for those of you feeling out of the loop, there’s your bloody update! With Thanksgiving only days away, and a new issue coming up with Just Laugh to boot, I’m not completely sure of how much will get done around here, but I do know that I’ve got some doosies sitting here on the idea notepad, so maybe if you’re really good, Santa will come just a tad early this year… Happy Holidays!!!

Check it out…

November 9, 2002 2:44pm
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Apparently pigs have gained the ability to fly and hell is working on starting up its own hockey team because Matt finally got around to putting his new website online! Yes, it’s true – the original works of Matthew Gatesy, my partner in crime over at Just Laugh, can now be found at the author’s official website:

unemployedwriter.com

It’s chocked full of all of his best stories, rants, and etc’s, so go take a looksie today!

On a completely unrelated note: I was finally able to get my hands on a copy of Big Trouble yesterday and I highly recommend this movie to anyone who doesn’t have anything to do this weekend! Of course, it was based on the novel by Dave Barry, and yes, this is one of those few movies that got delayed last year because it was scheduled to hit theaters within a week or two of the 9/11 tragedies, but if you’re a fan of Dave Barry, or Tim Allen, or even Geo Metro’s, you owe it to yourself to see this movie!

It was worth the twenty bucks I paid for the DVD, so it’s certainly worth the dollar it’ll cost you to go rent it at your local video store! Enjoy…

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