kids say the most obscene things…

So I’m not sure if this is a case of just how messed up today’s youth are or simply a gentle reminder of my own sheltering growing up, but I had an “interesting” experience this evening…

I finish my workout and head down to the pool area for a quick dip in the hot tub, but instead the hot tub is already very occupied by a group of at least a dozen teenagers (probably middle-school-aged, at best). Now this was about an hour ago, so it was going on 9:00pm and already dark, but they were well established and showed no signs of leaving, so I just went over and waded in the pool for a while instead. While I stood there, I realized that they were playing Truth or Dare and what I heard, well, let’s just say that it’s nothing that I would’ve said when I was that age…

We’re talking truly filthy talk, and I don’t just mean swearing, but the “dares” that were being suggested – finger-bang her, make-out with him, suck my nipple – I mean, we’re talking about fourteen year-olds here. And granted, don’t get me wrong – I remember being rather liberal with my language when I was a teenager growing up and I had a pretty perverted mind, too, but for what it’s worth it never left my own little circle of friends, usually snickering over a bag of cheetos and a case of Mountain Dew while we waited for Saturday Night Live to come on. I would never have thought to actually say those kinds of things to a girl, but these kids were not only saying them, but actually debating them, a la “Well, I won’t let anybody do that, but I’ll take my top off instead…” Sara’s told me stories about back when she taught middle school and how many of the girls were having sex/getting pregnant/what have you, but it’s still something that I just can’t wrap my head around because they seem so young.

And this is where my conundrum lies, because while I know that I didn’t do this kind of stuff growing up, maybe I was just the odd one out in my class. Was this really the kind of stuff that my classmates were partaking in while me and my geek friends played video games and Magic: The Gathering and Dungeons & Dragons? Just how “sheltered” from the rest of the kids were we growing up? Frankly, if that was what was going on while we were slamming Dew and saving princesses, then I honestly don’t feel all that bad about the choices that we made because the alternative just sounds crude, but still, is this a new cultural step that wasn’t necessarily the case fifteen years ago???

Now on the other hand, it’s certainly possible that this group that I observed could’ve very well been “the bad crowd” – there’s really no way to tell, but I guess I’d like to at least think that at 9:00pm on a Sunday night, the majority of kids that age are at home getting ready for bed because they have school the next morning. And clearly the parents are mostly to blame here because either they don’t know where their kids are at this time of night or even worse, they just don’t care … and I think it was the latter of the two because at one point I overheard a girl telling the group that her Mom had texted her and wanted to know if they wanted chili for dinner. Sure, maybe Mom just thought that “We’re all going to hang out down by the pool…” meant exactly that, but hell, if it didn’t phase her simply for the safety reasons of why people under 18 aren’t allowed at the pool without an adult, then I’m sure concerns circling around the sexuality of horny teenagers didn’t come to mind, either.

I mean, really, I guess all I can take from things like this are the insight to do my best to not let the same things happen with my kids when the time comes. And sure, I hear it all the time that “us people who don’t have kids seem to know better how to raise them than those of us who do…” but seriously, if your 14 year-old son is going down on some girl in a hot tub at 9:00pm on a Sunday night surrounded by all of their friends, you fucked up with your “parenting” somewhere along the way…