Scott’s Hospital Fun Guide!

December 12, 2018 1:51am
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So I got released from the hospital today.

I still have cellulitis, but I’m on my way to living my life without it.

Cut to a clip of me throwing a football and you’ve got the commercial for the cocktail of antibiotics that I’m on!

But seriously, kids – I do not recommend cellulitis. I haven’t the foggiest idea how I got it, but I wouldn’t suggest that anyone else give it a try. 

0/5 – Skin Infection not recommended

Thankfully, I had a pretty great care team during my stay that made the whole thing as manageable as possible … thanks to Katie, Brandon, Kristen, and Caitlin for taking care of me and finding me warm socks and all sorts of other things that I don’t think a lot of people realize are just part of the job for nurses. And while you don’t need to go to college to get someone a blanket or refill their ice water, I can’t tell you how much those little gestures helped to make my first stay in a hospital ever a little less lonely.


Anyways, a few final thoughts on my stay before switching track into full blown Christmas vacation mode…

  • The Food Network is a terrible channel to watch in the hospital, particularly at mealtime when you’re trying to figure out how to stomach down “real eggs” and “definitely real sausage” and “not at all cardboard-based pancakes” that the dietary people swear they prepared in a bonafide kitchen and not a microwave and everything.
  • Not having reliable wifi was a real blow. Luckily, they had a decent movie selection, so I watched several during my stay, but I didn’t do a lot online because staring at my phone was bothering me and to write anything I had to do it offline, then tether my laptop to my phone to be able to post.
  • Movies!
    • 1) Get Smart … I just love this movie, so I watched this one the first night I got there. It was interesting to see where the edits for TV were made, but I was relieved that the bit with the swordfish was still included – even if “Holy shit! Holy shit! A swordfish almost just went through my head!” did get corrected to “Holy stuff…” or some other such nonsense…
    • 2) Pacific Rim: Uprising … I hated the first movie, so I figured this was going to be garbage, and it kind of was. I know these movies are more about just giant things fighting, but I have a hard time when the plot holes are big enough for Kaiju to drift through…
    • 3) Jack Reacher: Never Go Back … I thought I remembered Sara and I not really liking the first one, but this was honestly decent. It was basically almost another Mission: Impossible story that gave Tom Cruise two hours in which to be a bad ass, which is always a fun way to wait for one’s pain medication to kick in! 😉
    • Honorable Mention) A Christmas Story … I was going to slip in this one last night, but ended up making some phone calls instead. Sorry, Ralphie – you’ll shoot your eye out soon enough, though – I promise.
  • I must admit that at least once I did contemplate whether I could sneak out to my car and run home for nothing in particular before anyone noticed, considering that the hospital is barely five miles from my house. I pictured stuffing the bed with towels, a la Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and then I remembered that back in reality I couldn’t make it five feet to the bathroom without a walker…
  • I used a walker for the first time! At only 38 years old! It was kind of embarrassing, but then again, so was watching me try to walk without it.
  • A good indicator of how to know when I’m really sick is when I’m willing to wear socks to bed.
  • Also, having another person put on your socks for you is both a very humbling and very endearing thing to experience.
  • Sleeping all day in the hospital isn’t nearly as enjoyable as you think it sounds when you consider it’s because sleeping at the hospital is perpetually interrupted by lab tests and vital signs and people asking you to sign forms promising that you’ll definitely still pay, even if the charges are mutually agreed to be ridiculous.
  • And last but not least, thankfully my charges should be zero or close to it because we exceeded the Out of Pocket Maximum for our insurance two months ago.

So if you’re still thinking about getting cellulitis after all of these glowing reviews that I’ve given for it, I’d recommend waiting until the insurance company is going to pick up the tab before you stumble into the ER on an otherwise uneventful Sunday afternoon.

For best results, wait until about 5:00am and sneak into your insurance company’s room to ask if they’re cool with it – 5:00 am is when people give the best feedback, at least in my own personal experience as a veteran, one-time hospital patient…

What the hell is cellulitis, anyways?!

December 9, 2018 10:44pm
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A father calls his son a few days after being put into a nursing home…

“Son, you’re not going to believe it! This morning while my nurse was helping me get dressed, I got an erection … and she just gave me a blow job – just like that!” he said enthusiastically.

“Dad, that’s incredible!” replied his son.

“Thank you so much for putting me in this place…” he said before the two said their goodbyes and hung up the phone.

A few hours later, the son received a much more frantic call from his father…”

“Son – you’ve gotta get me out of here! I was walking down the hallway and I slipped and fell, and out of nowhere these two orderlies showed up and fucked me in the ass!”

“Well, Dad…” the son consoled his father, “earlier you said you got a blow job from your nurse, and you’ve gotta take the good with the bad…”

“No, no,” his Dad interrupted him. “You don’t understand – I get an erection once a month, I fall down three or four times a day!”

I love that joke!

So anyways … I’m in the hospital … with cellulitis!

I didn’t know what it was until I googled it, either, so feel free to check out that link above. In my case, it means that my left shin looks like hell and feels even worse to walk on.

And here I’m supposed to be going on vacation the day after tomorrow?!

Truth be told, this is the first time I’ve ever been admitted to the hospital. Sara’s spent the night as a patient more times than I can count, but I’ve been relatively lucky until this point. We’re hoping that I’ll get discharged tomorrow after a few more bags of antibiotics do their thing, so we’ll see.

It does, however, give me a new perspective on how lonely hospitals can be. I mean, my caregivers have all been great so far, but my time down in the ER before I got admitted was really rough – I was by all myself (because Sara stayed home with the kids), and the room was freezing, and I couldn’t eat or drink anything until they decided on a treatment plan, and all of my devices were low on batteries, and it didn’t matter anyways because the hospital’s wifi is shit…

It definitely gives me a newfound sympathy for my fellow inmates here.

Down in the ER, I almost felt guilty because there were so many moans and groans, and my biggest complaint was just being cold because my leg doesn’t really hurt if I keep off it.

For a while they had parked an old lady who was 91 years old right outside my room and I honestly wasn’t sure if she was alive or dead until she too started moaning.

I don’t think I could work in a place like this, but I tip my hat to my wife and sister-in-law and every other nurse and doctor and tech who rises to the challenge each and every day.

One thing I was kind of impressed with is how technology integration is improving. Before I was allowed to watch TV, I had to sit through a handful of tutorial videos about “how to be a good patient” that were actually really good because they talked about how it’s ok to ask questions if you don’t understand something, and to tell your caregivers information even if you’re not sure whether it’s relevant, and even telling patients to call out their caregivers if they don’t wash their hands before they enter the room.

It was a unique way to present what was previously probably just another paper to sign, and I think it gets the message across a little better.

I also like how the TV gets a pop-up whenever someone enters the room that shows you their name, picture, and job.

There are some areas that still have a ways to go – the “learn about my meds” option just goes to a search box, which was useless to me because I only have controls on my remote, not a full keyboard.

Same for the Patient Portal, which just loads a webpage for access to their web portal and ultimately wants a username and password … again, useless without a way to actually input letters and numbers!

I don’t know if maybe there’s a wireless keyboard hiding around this room somewhere, but the key to any good interface is simplicity, so I shouldn’t have to look or ask.

Anyways, the kids already came to visit and Christopher tried stuffing his graham crackers into the controls for my bed, so hopefully they won’t have to move me anywhere tonight!

I’m comfortable, but very restless.

I do have a nice view of my primary care physician’s office from across the little pond thingy, which is better than the roof/construction zone Sara had when she was pregnant with the twins!

Time to watch a bad movie or two before bed…

What’s on Scott’s mind???

July 25, 2018 4:05pm
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Preface: I hope this doesn’t come off as depressive, as it’s meant to be more reflective, but I suppose we’ll just see where it goes…

Head Stuff
For lack of a better term, lately I’ve found myself feeling very lost and disoriented.

Life is, and has been for a while, quite chaotic, but even when I sit down and identify things that I think I could do to improve the quality in general, I can’t seem to actually execute on them. Sometimes it’s because my plans are too complicated, sometimes it’s because I get overwhelmed and other things come up that displace my original plans, and sometimes it’s simply that it’s often easier to sit down and make the plans than it is to actually do the work behind them.

Part of it could be a lack of attention because I have so many different things that I want to do, but all of them require the equivalent of full-time efforts and I just can’t force myself to pick one and thus leave all of the others behind.

And it’s tough because sometimes I have that nagging feeling of what one of them could’ve been if years ago I had just picked one and really focused on it instead of dragging everything out together. I try to tell myself that just because I pick one thing and focus on it now doesn’t mean that years down the road I can’t work on something else.

It also doesn’t help that I’m more inclined than before to lean towards the projects that have money associated with them because our finances keep getting tighter and tighter, and I don’t expect that to necessarily go away until all of these kids are off to college… 😛

Sick Stuff
Since Sunday night I’ve been dealing with another kidney stone, or at least I think it’s a kidney stone … if not, I’m real curious what it is that’s had me popping so much Vicodin over the last couple of days!

That’s on top of a real nasty rash (TMI?) that I’ve been fighting for the last couple of weeks, to the point where I saw multiple doctors and got all sorts of steroids to get it to go away. The specialist also took a biopsy of two hunks of my skin, which is something I’ve never done before and can’t say that I would recommend because I’ve still got the stitches to show for it.

Simply put, I need to be taking a lot better care of my body, but everything else being so chaotic makes it really hard. On a normal workday by the time I go to the office, work a full day, and come home and try to help put the kids to bed, I’m just exhausted and barely have any energy left to do anything at all – be it more work, creative stuff, or god forbid … exercise.

Political Stuff
Trump depresses the shit out of me, in the things that he says and the policies that he’s pushing, but mostly in the numbers of followers that happily agree with every self-centered, arrogant, cruel and crude, bigoted word of it.

Capitalism feels like it’s slowly eroding my respect for brands like Disney who’ve inspired me for decades, but now just seems to take more and more because they can.

I guess I have a hard time understanding where a lot of people allocate their values to be when so much of our world lately is every man for himself, I got mine, and you’re just not working hard enough.

I saw a quote the other day with regards to how airline flights are more cramped than they’ve ever been, and the response was, “Being comfortable on an airplane is not a human right.”

How did we become so jaded when people paying for a service don’t deserve to receive that service in a reasonable manner???

At the end of the day, I guess I’d just like to see people prioritized over profits again because it’s made a lot of aspects of life really ugly and unfulfilling, and it ultimately leads to a lot of people suffering so that a few can flourish, which isn’t right.

Relaxing Stuff
Amid all of this, I’ve been spending more time doing things that I enjoy recreationally, which I suppose is a good thing.

About a week ago I turned on my Super NES Classic and started playing Final Fantasy 3 – a game which I haven’t played since high school – and that’s been a lot of fun revisiting all sorts of memories from what made that game awesome way back in the day.

I’ve also really been enjoying finding random stuff on YouTube and collecting them in Plex – old TV shows, particularly ones that never even made it to DVD because they’re often episodes that somebody encoded off of VHS tapes and whatnot! Even though I might not necessarily watch a lot of them, there’s something oddly fulfilling to organizing these random blips in history into a format that’s more appealing to the eye if I did want to watch them … i.e. what a service like Netflix could look like if perpetually changing licenses and digital rights weren’t a thing.

Final Thoughts
Is it bad to yearn for what I think my life could be instead of simply embracing the general chaos that it is now?

It would be one thing if there was an end in sight to said chaos, but when I think it’s going to persist for the foreseeable future, particularly when some of those things that I strive for have the possibility to bring along with them great change, it’s hard not to want to run, not walk towards them both for personal satisfaction as well as just to find a bit of relief.

Maybe it’s about pacing, and trying to figure out a progression towards that thing or things that will actually work for you. Or in my case, also learning how to put certain things on the back burner without feeling like you’re all but abandoning them completely.

I feel like the chaos would be easier to deal with if there were some light at the end of the tunnel – something to remind me that all of this struggling isn’t being done in vain.

And that at the end of the day, it’s all going to work out and everything is going to be ok. Whatever that is.

For a while now, I’ve said that time is my most precious resource.

I have a young family, a stressful job, and more ambitions than I have the time I’d like to fully indulge in, so often I find myself watching the clock even more so than I do my checking account balance. I can always make more money (sort of!), but no matter how hard I try, there are still only so many hours in a day at my disposal.

So for the last four years – specifically since the day that Christopher was born – I’ve been a telecommuter, working out of my home office and only going in for meetings that couldn’t be handled over the phone … which let’s be honest, in this day and age were few and far between!

I found that working from home was a good fit for me because it kept me in close proximity if Sara needed any help with the boys during the day. She still handled most of their daily care, but if she needed a hand changing a particularly messy diaper or wanted to share something adorable that they were doing, I could take a short break and come help.

It also made it so much more convenient that she could run to the store or go pickup Christopher from school while the twins were napping because I was still in the house with them doing my work.

It was a great system that came crashing to an end recently when my employer announced that they were ending our telecommuting policy. No discussion, no exceptions – they just wanted everyone back in the office to facilitate collaborations, despite the fact that we’re a global company and most of the people who I collaborate with are located in other countries… 🙁

I’m not going to rant and rave about that because this isn’t the time or the place, but what I can say is that over the years I’ve definitely learned that office life really isn’t for me. At least not right now it isn’t – the fixed schedules aren’t conducive to my life with three young kids, the commute is a giant waste of precious time, and in the end I know that I’m personally far more productive working privately at home without all of the distractions that come from working in the same building as 500 other people.

Sometimes other workers have a negative opinion towards telecommuters because they think that they’re just sitting at home, goofing off all day long.

I know because for a while I was one of those people who hated hearing that somebody was working from home that day because often times it was tough to get a hold of them, and frankly there was probably a bit of jealousy in wishing that *I* was sitting at home on my couch with my laptop instead of stuck in a stuffy cubicle for 10 hours a day, slowly watching my life flash before my eyes, too!

But the thing that I realized once I started enjoying the comforts of telecommuting regularly for myself is this – just because someone is physically in the office doesn’t mean that they’re actually doing anything productive with their time.

You can screw around at the office just as easily as you can at home – wandering from one co-worker’s desk to another for just a few minutes of idle chat, meetings that are booked for far longer time than they actually require, aimless web surfing and social media browsing, or even just taking an hour for a task that should take any reasonable person five minutes … don’t let anyone claim credit for being busier than you are just because they did it wearing pants. 😉

So needless to say, my world is even a bit more chaotic than normal right now because I feel like my precious time is even more constrained than ever. Not being able to throw up a load of laundry or wash a few dishes to help reduce the pile in the sink on my lunch break is already starting to take its toll and tensions within the family are higher because we don’t see each other nearly as much as we used to.

In a way, it really makes me think about work and why it is that we work the way that we do because it doesn’t always have to be this way.

Some jobs, of course, require a physical presence – retail, dining, hospitality, shipping – but for jobs that put us sitting at desks for 50 hours a week and with so many online tools to allow people to work together from all corners of the globe, the reasons are few and far between why people should be tethered to one certain desk to put in their time and it’s hard to see how the positives could possibly outweigh the negatives when you consider how freeing it can be for an employee to have more control over how they spend their day.

Right now I’m struggling to adjust – I’ll get by, but I’m not really happy about it. The upside is that it’s forcing me to reconsider some things that I’ve let slide for far too long out of a sense of just being comfortable. I’ve got a few ideas for ways to change things up, and I’m getting to the point in my life where I’m less willing to take no for an answer – 2,400 hours a year is just too much time to spend discontent.

I suppose we’ll see what happens! 😉

Car Buying Frustrations

April 5, 2018 12:41pm
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I know that most car salesmen are slimy and tricky and generally not to be trusted, but it’s still hard for me when I’m putting down tens of thousands of dollars for a car that we’ll likely drive for the next 5-10 years, only to then have to deal with being lied to along the way.

It happened to me not once, but twice in the last couple of days, to the point where I’m honestly just done with our current car buying expedition. I need a break from the treachery and the dishonesty.


We’re currently working on getting a van to replace our SUV whose lease will be up next month. It’s an upgrade that we desperately need, despite my not being crazy about driving a van, but hey, when you’ve got three kids and strollers and other miscellaneous stuff to haul around, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do…

So we decided that we want to get a Honda Odyssey. We’ve test driven a couple of different ones, and it’s far superior to other brands on the market. But the dealers are really digging in on the price, regardless of all of the research and bids that I’ve gathered around the area. I’d finally gotten one as low as I figured I was going to get, but when we packed up the entire family and went to the dealership, after moving all of the car seats over and doing another test drive…

They up and changed the price on us. By several thousand dollars.

Because apparently the “quote” I had been given didn’t account for the $1,600 worth of accessories that they’d installed on the car, nor did it account for them lowballing the hell out of our trade-in … which is admittedly a challenge because we’re over our miles on our lease, so we’re technically upside-down on its value.

Though for what it’s worth, I’m not looking for them to give me any positive equity on the thing – just looking for them to help soften the blow of the excess mileage by meeting me in the middle instead of paying the full amount back to Honda by just giving the car back.

Anyways… 😛

So dealer #1 tried to screw us – it was very much a bait and switch, and the salesman who had been super-friendly during our entire test drive pulled a two-face on us and was kind of a dick after I challenged the first set of numbers that he brought back to us.

We still haggled there for about an hour until I finally decided that they weren’t going to budge on their prices – they’d up the loan term to 84-months, but wouldn’t lower their price – so eventually I got on the phone with dealer #2 and asked if they’d honor the price that they’d given us if we came the next day.

They said, “Of course!” and agreed to follow-up in the morning…

…when they sent me a bill of sale for $1,000 more and said that the original offer was no longer valid.


Just for the record, it takes a lot of nerve to tell someone, “Yeah, it’ll be $1,000 more!” and then follow up the customer’s disgust with, “So are you still coming down today?”

This is why I could never be a salesman – because if that’s the level of dishonesty required to do your day to day job, it’s just not for me. I mean, for the second guy, (allegedly) I had talked to him on the phone while he was feeding his two year-old son!

Who lies while they’re feeding a baby, for cryin’ out loud?!?!?!

So I’m done searching for now. I just don’t have the heart in me to deal with this stuff anymore right now, and I’m still getting over being sick, and we’ve got scads of family in town, and I can’t do it.

We’ll pick things up in a few weeks after I’ve had a chance to get over this garbage, and then we’ll start up all over again. I’ll put on yet another layer of thick skin and charge up my BS meter, and we’ll see if we can secure us a van to trudge this clan around Florida for the foreseeable future.

The Day I Quit Soda. Again.

March 21, 2018 11:29pm
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This morning I peed a rock out of my penis.

It wasn’t fun, and for those of you keeping score at home, it wasn’t the first time that I’ve done it, either…

I don’t know how big my other ones were, but this one clocked in at about 2 mm and I passed a couple of smaller fragments in the days before. I actually went for a CT scan this time and passed something right before I laid down for that, so I had been kind of hoping that it was already behind me, but no such luck.

Everyone says that kidney stones are the most painful thing that you’ll ever experience, and maybe I’ve gotten lucky so far because while they’ve certainly been no picnic, I never had a point where I was doubled over or anything. I couldn’t sleep a bunch, especially last night as this little bastard was working its way through … even on Vicodin … but all I can say now is that I think I’m finally out of the woods.

Also, I need to give up soda for good this time!

Apparently excesses in soda lead to increased acids and whatnot that cause stones to form, or maybe it’s the acids in the soda itself. I don’t know, but I’ve yet to find a doctor who says that Cherry Coke is good for my diet, and the resulting obesity certainly isn’t doing me any favors, either.

I love the taste of soda, but I don’t love the feeling of a 2 mm rock scraping its way through my insides.

For the last year and a half, plus way more before, I’ve used soda as a form of stress relief because life can be very overwhelming, but once you start peeing out rocks, it’s hard to argue the net benefit on your overall health anymore. I know that I’ve been drinking way too much lately … I recall watching a documentary where a couple filled an entire shopping cart with soda as their weekly haul and thinking at the time that it was just ridiculous, and although I’m still not quite to that depth, there are more times than I’d like to admit that I’ve polished off a 2 liter bottle in barely two days.

A liter of soda has about 400 calories to it, so conservatively speaking, 2 – 3 bottles a week is upwards of 2,000 calories just from soda!!!

Plus the kidney stones in the pee…

So I’m quitting soda. Again. Except for in the occasional mixed drink, which is honestly less than one a month, so I think that’s more than reasonable from where I am today.

That is, recovering in sore pain, staring down a tiny stone that all but prevented me from getting any sleep last night as it s-l-o-w-l-y inched its way through my ureter from my kidney to my bladder.

And the second trip out the door was no picnic, either. 😛

Goodbye, soda – it was a fun run. Kind of. But I’d like to actually run with my kids now and you’re not helping.

Also, the rocks shooting out of my penis – those have just got to stop. Nothing personal.

some journaling, of sorts…

June 3, 2016 1:50am
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Looking back through my recent posts, I haven’t really done a lot of life blogging, as it were, so tonight feels like just as good a time as any to rectify that situation. Fair warning, I’m probably going to be jumping around a lot, but I’ll try to keep my thoughts confined within each of these handy, dandy bold headlines that you’ll find so eloquently inserted into the otherwise exceedingly verbose text below… 😉

Scott’s Thing-a-Day
I honestly don’t think that I ever got around to sharing this new project here, but a couple of months ago I started this neat, new daily blog that I really liked … but lately I haven’t really been doing it so much.

The problem I’m finding is two-fold, at least – most significantly being that when I launched the project back in February, I was in a bit of a rut and wasn’t writing much of anything at all. But now that I’m recovering from that spell, most notably by writing my humor column on a weekly basis again, the Thing-a-Day posts often feel more forced than I want them to. That, and I often struggle finding things to write about because I already put what would’ve been my Thing post for the day into some other article or blog post or whatever.

So overall I still enjoy the concept of this project … I just need to mull it around a bit with my more productive schedule to figure out what I want to do with it now. There’s definitely a lot to be said for writing a single project every single day, but I don’t like to see my other writing efforts suffer as all of my content just goes there instead of into each of them respectively…

Housework a-Plenty
So I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’ve got twins coming this fall, and in turn there are roughly a billion things that need to get done around this house in preparation for their inevitable arrival, which I’ve been told repeatedly is going to happen whether I’m ready for them to come or not! 😯

I currently have a list of 31 items in length, divided by room, of tasks that need to be completed, ranging everywhere from painting Christopher’s new room and then re-painting the nursery to finally hanging the TV in our bedroom, cleaning up a bunch of junk out in the garage, and just all sorts of stuff. This past weekend I was actually able to scratch a few off the list and it felt pretty good, but the thing is just so demanding and sadly almost none of them are quick, 5-10 minute tasks … I know that it’s something that I really need to stay on top of all summer long if I want to actually knock it all out by the time we get to October.

Creativity Brewin’
With writing resuming on what is arguably probably my favorite work to date (my humor column), my mind is also a’bubbling with all sorts of other related and semi-related creative projects that I’m now itching to get underway. Most notably … a new book.

Or two, or three… 😕

I’m not going to give spoilers on what any of them might be simply because all three of them have been ideas that I’ve been kicking around for a while, and admittedly probably too long. The last couple of years creatively have sort of been focused in another direction, as evidenced by the release date on my latest book being 2012 – a year that was, in fact, several years ago. Needless to say, I’m kind of disoriented on what I’m supposed to be working on creatively right now at this point in my life, so dare I say that it’s time to try something a little different.

Plus, low and behold I think that it’s surprisingly reasonable for me to actually finish all three of these works this year, so why not spend the next six months pivoting in another direction and try something new? It’s not like I’m getting any younger here… 😛

Welcome to Life, Speed Limit: 1 BILLION mph
…because despite my best attempts to slow down life to a rate more becoming of someone who’s quickly slipping away into dementia, it seems that life has no intentions of letting up – see references to twins and general creative flusterment. Life is a highway and as much as I wouldn’t mind just pulling over and grabbing a few quick hours of rest before pushing on towards Toledo, ride it all night long, we must, nevertheless.

It’s gotten to the point where lately I’m happy just to live life a single week at a time – if you want to ask me about anything that spans beyond the upcoming weekend, good luck with that because about 4-5 days’ worth of mental stuffs is about all that my mind can handle at this particular juncture! Just ask my wife how many times a week I confirm her work schedule for the rest of the week … no doubt she’s looking forward to going out of work early on short term disability simply to reduce the number of times she has to hear that question from me alone…

I’m somewhat nervous to ask just how long it’s going to be like this, although in the back of my mind I’ve attributed a bunch of it merely to the anticipation associated with welcoming more mouths to feed into the human race. Then it will be a different kind of chaos, but at least I’ve dealt with that kind of chaos before … there will just be more of it.

As for right now, I guess in a way it also somewhat forces me to focus more on the present. I worry about this week’s humor column, I try to work on two or three key tasks for my day job. And I more or less shoot to keep everybody fed seven days a week and properly bathed more days than not! Anything else beyond that, be it a half hour spent lounging in the pool or a few extra posts written that were unexpected, is very much icing on that particular week’s cake!

Recommended Reading…
In closing, I thought I’d share this rather creatively inspiring blog post that I came across just today via Amazon’s monthly newsletter for KDP authors – it rings along the vein of the new books that I talked about writing this year, and it’s pretty true advice even despite the last four paragraphs I just wrote about challenges!

I want to expand more on this idea of writing because you want to write as opposed to for financial or career goals because I think there’s something to be said in that realm that really resonates with where I’m sort of stuck right now about not really knowing what to write, yet still feeling like I need to write something. Especially as one gets later in their profession and the writer dream job seems to be slowly but steadily floating away, it’s easy to get lost in the scramble like I think I have lately and as a result spend all sorts of good time worrying about not making it instead of actually putting that time down on paper and making something out of it … even if it’s not necessarily what you thought it might look like 10-15 years ago when you first decided that being a writer has without a doubt got to be the best job ever! 😉

But for now, I think I’ve journaled here enough. I’ll try to do this a little more often this summer, both because I want to see that word count inch closer to 1,000,000 there in the sidebar, and also just because I think it’s a fun thing to do.

Writing. Blogging. Whatever.

See you next time! 😀

Life is Busy

February 22, 2016 7:49pm
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I don’t know how it happened, but apparently it’s already almost the end of February in this new year 2016 of ours.

I think I would argue that so far this year life has been busier than most, though admittedly it could just be that we’ve got way too much stacked up to do at the same time. Of course, birthday planning for Christopher’s #2 has been taking place since roughly December 26th, and getting ready to stuff another IVF bun in the oven has made hormones fun for my better half. High expectations at work have certainly made juggling “free time” a bit more complicated than usual, not to mention trying to get random stuffs in line financially for that post-baby time that could be upon us as earlier as about 10 months from now, or so I’m told! 😯

New Years resolutions, humor writing, the general wearing of pants … it’s true that the list of things I’ve omitted so far this year isn’t small by any stretch of the imagination, though for what it’s worth I do have these goofy photos of my son in an attempt to make up for this particular downfall…

I guess the important takeaway that I have here today is that although 2016 has been very busy and it most certainly hasn’t gone quite as I had planned for these initial 53 days, it’s still been productive in many other ways. We filed our taxes exceptionally early this year, that aforementioned work work is definitely building towards something, and despite our schedules being absolutely bonkers, we’ve still managed to spend a fair amount of time doing family things like taking Christopher to the local children’s museum or reinvigorating our fear of heights some 400 feet above the Earth, a la The Orlando Eye.

At this rate it wouldn’t really surprise me if brace for change is kind of the unofficial theme of the year, which as much as I’ve always been one to hate change so, so much, I suppose it doesn’t really have to be so bad as long as you make an effort to keep things in perspective. It can definitely be frustrating because I’m used to meticulous plans and organization as long as they don’t involve time, but one thing I think I’m getting a little better at accepting as I get older is that there will be some days when you’re uber productive and get to spend every last ounce of the day writing and developing and creating and there will be others where sometimes you’re lucky just to get in a shower, a load of laundry, and that one thing that ends up taking 10x longer than expected because … reasons. 😛

Anywho – I’m not really sure how much I’ll be blogging this year. It could just be a little, and for all I know I could post another five things yet this week! Right now life is this sort of crazy, whirlwind-tornado sandwich, but truth be told it’s also still pretty awesome so right now I’m just trying to hold onto that as we inch our way through 2016 here one silly face at a time…

I was actually going to write about this a week ago. I didn’t really write publicly about our first go at IVF during the process itself because it was a stress-filled rollercoaster and I just didn’t feel like airing it at the time. I thought this time would be different, but then we got into the mix of it and it turned out to be just as stressful as before though admittedly in different ways than before…

So this is our second time doing IVF – our first resulted in Christopher after two cycles.

Contrary to the beliefs of many armchair fertility doctors, no, everything didn’t just loosen right up after that first baby and make things smooth as silk for baby #2.

Not to nitpick your credentials or anything, but ovulation or a lack thereof doesn’t work that way.


Anyways, last Saturday morning we went in to harvest eggs out of my wife, as you do, and things seemed to be going smoothly right up until they weren’t. It’s scary how much of a numbers game this really is because we rapidly went from 23 eggs total to 18 eggs harvested to only 12 of those eggs actually being mature, and that was before my little guys jumped into the game, too!

…which apparently came with their own set of issues that I don’t really want to get into, but I will say that we almost couldn’t fertilize any to a day later finding that all twelve eggs had fertilized successfully, so again … rollercoaster much?!

And yet here we are a week later, and now we’re down to THREE viable, growing embyros at day 5. 😯

Honestly, this is almost exactly what happened last time, which is a little frustrating because we’re obviously hoping for more to help control costs. But it is what it is, as much as I’m so sick of hearing the phrase, “It only takes one!” because out of millions of sperm and dozens of eggs, we’re already at a disadvantage numbers-wise!

So now we’re kind of in a holding pattern until next year – our three contestants will be frozen as they are today and a cellular-sized chunk of each sent off for genetic testing to identify the best of the best, but they won’t go back inside until after the new year … sort of a different strategy with this go around. Basically all I have left to do is write a $2,000 check for the genetic testing and then we’re on break until after the holidays… 😕

A bit anti-climatic, I know – welcome to my world.

In other related news, though, I’m somewhat considering writing an actual book about the process with Sara because she approached me with some interest earlier in the year and I’m coming around on the idea that we might be able to have a little fun with it and help some other people cope with the horrible process to boot. When we were going through our last cycle to have Christopher, writing about it was honestly the furthest thing from my mind because it was so stressful and topsy-turvy, but even though this cycle is still somewhat crazy I think having another already under our belts does make it a bit easier.

Really, it’s such a rough, unrelatable process for anyone who hasn’t or isn’t going through it, if I can write a few jokey thingys to help lighten the mood for others based on our own experiences, then that might help bring some positive to the process … besides my child/children that came/are coming out of it, mind you!

So look for that … I don’t really know when. I’d like to start working on it next year, but I’ve go so much lined up it’s hard to say at this point. I guess like the other thing, we’ll see. 😐

Brain Dump, 03/2015

March 7, 2015 3:21pm
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I haven’t done a post like this in a long time, but after revisiting some of my earliest blog posts I guess I’m feeling nostalgic for something a little different today… 😉

  • I feel like we still have a ridiculous amount to do for Christopher’s birthday party, and whenever I try to think about it I just get overwhelmed by the idea that he’s almost 1 year old already!!!
  • His favorite show by far is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, but sometimes I also treat him to the occasional old episode of The Muppet Show and it delights me to no end how amused he gets by the puppets despite their being nearly 50 years old.
  • I bought new seeds the other day to try and resurrect my mini-garden out by the pool – cucumbers, tomatoes, and flowers. The pots are currently filled with weeds that are growing great, so maybe that’s a good omen that I’ll do better this time???
  • I really hated the movie Oblivionyet it seems to be on TV all the time and I end up watching parts of it anyways.
  • I’ve probably been eating way too many peanut butter M&M’s lately.
  • My office is a complete disaster right now because I had to tear my closet apart looking for something and I never put all of the boxes back. I should really pause from writing this and take 10 minutes to put them all back.
  • There – that’s better!
  • Over the last several weeks I’ve found myself inundated with this strange urge to go hiking – not suburban sidewalk hiking, but actually out in the woods and stuff. It’s just that time and scheduling are limited, and I really need a new pair of shoes, and roughly 1,000,000 other excuses…
  • I’ve really been in the mood for plugging in the PS2 and playing a little bit of Grand Theft Auto, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate to justify it right now.
  • I think that the Series 13 set of Lego Minifigs that just came out is possibly my favorite yet, even though my wall display is almost completely full and I’m going to have to redo the entire lot to fit them in.
  • I need to set aside some time and do our taxes one of these days. We’ve finally got all of the paperwork and we should even be getting a refund … I just have little desire to wade through all of my business receipts for the last year to file for it!
  • I hate housework because it feels like such an insurmountable task to me. I look around and see just such a ridiculous amount of stuff to do between the garage to the kitchen to the general clutter – it’s frustrating when even an honest afternoon’s work barely puts a dent in it.
  • I really want to start writing my humor column again, but whenever I think about it, fifteen other things pop up that I should be doing instead.
  • I need a vacation! We’d really like to go on another cruise this year, and possibly go up to Michigan for a week this summer, but logistically with everything else that’s going on I’m not sure whether either of them are actually feasible.
  • I have a feeling that 2015 is going to go by really quick, and I desperately hope that I have some great things to show for it.

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