This Made Me Chuckle…

August 8, 2010 6:46am
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…although admittedly it’s a little scary that there’s even a market for ads like this!

(Note: If it wasn’t for the fact that Tech Month is already in full swing and I’ve got almost two months of columns scheduled going forward, this would’ve been so easy to turn into a humor column, but I digress…)

So I tried to be productive when I got home, and do you know where it got me? Tingly hands – that’s where!

I’ve been meaning to pull some weeds out front for a while before they really get out of control, so when I got home a little early today when it was still light out and with the garbage can conveniently not filled and thus ready for the disposing of said weeds, I pretty much just threw my stuff inside the door and got right to pulling. Normally the weeds out front aren’t too bad as long as we get them early – maybe a few stragglers that would fight to dwarf the actual plants if left to grow, but this time nothing huge. Halfway down the sidewalk, I was pretty impressed with just how quickly it was going and figured that another five minutes and I’d be back inside making a homemade pizza for dinner…

It was then that I reached to grab a bad weed.

At first it just seemed like it had little thorns on it, so I (foolishly) pressed forward, tried to navigate around them the best I could, and continued to yank the thing from the flower bed. Oddly enough, though, when I had finally raised it and it was several feet away from me in the garbage can, I couldn’t help but notice that … well … my hands still hurt!

I kept going, and they kept hurting/tingling until finally I realized that I either needed to stop or find a pair of gloves or something because it had rapidly gone from irritating pain to “Wow, that does really hurt!” pain. I even came in and tried washing my hands, but it only seemed to mildly subside.

Anyways, I was able to find a pair of rubber gloves (which looked kinda silly, but whatever) and finished the last of the weeding so at least the job is done, but I still think it’s odd that here three hours later, I’m still feeling the effects of whatever the hell those damn weeds’ defense mechanism was! I’m still not entirely sure if they’re some sort of very tiny, micro needles that are still attached to my skin, or possibly an oil or something that’s acting as an irritant. Fortunately, it’s died down to a persistent pins and needles feeling throughout my fingers with only the occasional sharper pains, but I still hope that by tomorrow it’ll have worn off altogether!

Still, leftover battle scars or not, they’re the ones lying in a heap in the woods behind our house instead of standing tall in the middle of our garden, so I win.

Is this not the creepiest version of Stewie that you’ve ever seen?! Whoever chose this image for their ad campaign should be fired, or least forced to sit and stare at it until they realize just how horrible of a picture it is…

Feel like throwing up?

March 16, 2009 3:59pm
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From thisiswhyyourefat.com



Deep Fried Pepperoni Pizza

And honestly, this is one of the more tolerable dishes there. The post directly below this one on the site (Bacon Chili-Topped Cheeseburger) looks, well … yeah. Mind you, some like the Pizza Cone and the Deep Fried Grilled Cheese Sandwich actually look surprisingly enjoyable, but then something like The 30,000 Calorie Sandwich comes along and forget it!

also, this is freaky…

July 8, 2008 10:25pm
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Ladies, am I right in thinking that this would be creepy as all get-out??? I can hear the screams erupting from afar already…

Teen Finds Baby Bat in Her Bra
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2266900/Teenager-finds-baby-bat-in-her-bra.html

Also, some of the comments from the BoingBoing mention are pretty funny, too:
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/08/teen-discovers-bat-h.html

One Too Many TPS Reports…

June 4, 2008 8:30pm
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http://arbroath.blogspot.com/2008/06/man-having-issues-in-office.html

Dude goes nuts at an office in Russia – the first clip is apparently from the security cameras; the second not only has color but also sound, providing a nice thud when they finally taze the guy to the ground at the end.

I’ve gotta say, at first I laughed at the guy who hides in the supply closet about halfway through, but the more that I think about it, I can’t necessarily say that I wouldn’t also hide in the supply closet at my own office if something like this were to unfold. What’s worse – being called a wuss for running and hiding, or getting nailed in the head with a computer monitor???

hmmm…

May 5, 2008 10:31pm
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I’m not sure which one I should be more concerned about – the fact that we missed our scheduled appointment with the GE technician sent to fix our fridge this morning or the idea that they went through six other Dans before successfully even getting somebody to our front door!

Sara and I are thinking of changing up the theme for our wedding – what do you think of the bouquet that we found today?

Talk about hilbillerific – wait ’til you see what the bridesmaids will be wearing!

Just a quick news headline as I was checking my e-mail before work this morning – I can’t say as I know what my own reaction would be if a 75-pound stingray jumped out of the water at me…

Stingray Jumps Onto Boat, Kills Woman
http://news.aol.com/story/_a/stingray-leaps-onto-boat-kills-woman/20080320132409990001

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