Dream Journal : Jason Bieber and the Fudge Thief

This is a short one, but it’s just too weird and random not to write down… 

So my wife and I were wandering around some random store in the mall, talking about what we were going to do for childcare for our baby. In one store we actually ran across the neighbor kid hanging out with a bunch of his friends. Apparently he had watched our house or cleaned or something for us a couple of times, so we started talking about whether he could be a makeshift babysitter as needed, and after some deliberation I decided to go ask him about it.

Also, completely irrelevant to the story, but the kid looked shockingly like Justin Bieber.  😕

I walked up and started chatting with him, and I guess my segue into the babysitting conversation was to ask how he’d liked working for us in the past. But instead of the cordial, “It’s great, Mr. Sevener!” that I was expecting, instead young Jason Bieber went off on this tirade about how we were living in excess and how he thought it was ridiculous how we spent our money, like we were flaunting it in front of people or something.

In hindsight, I’m honestly not sure what “job” he had actually been doing for us, but needless to say by the time he was done with his little rant, I had fired him.

From there I went looking for my wife, who with a friend had disappeared out of the store that we had been in. I started wandering the mall looking for her, but was quickly distracted by a fudge store that sold fudge and nothing else! I guess it was kind of a gourmet fudge store, as they had long shelves of boxed fudges of all sorts of flavors. Well, as you might expect, I soon started looking for a pumpkin fudgeand I did find one, but the price on the box was $90 for a not large box of fudge!!!

I grabbed the box and called over to the shopkeeper to ask about whether it was right, but when she took the box from my hand, she noticed that it was kind of light, and after further examination, the bottom of the box had actually been slit open and it was empty.

I was pissed because it was the only box that they had had, despite it being a $90 box of fudge … maybe that was the excess that Jason Bieber was bitching about! The lady then explained that it had actually been an ongoing problem of their fudge getting stolen and it was really hurting their business because, well, when you charge $90 for a single box of fudge, every box hurts.

Then I woke up. I never did get to try any fudge, and apparently now I need a new babysitter.


  1. You have no idea how important it will be for your child to know that THIS is the first blog post of yours that he/she is ever mentioned in.

    1. Actually, there are a couple of older ones about “the announcement” that I haven’t back-posted yet … because I’m an obnoxious blogger who doesn’t put up my posts in order.

      This is definitely the first really weird post mentioning him or her, though.

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