I’ve been expecting you…
Not really, though. I think people anticipate the big ones – 21, 30, 40, other numbers even higher than 40 – but 35 is kind of an oddball age. You’re not old old just yet, but you’re not exactly young anymore, either.
I mean, fuck – I’ve been out of high school for almost two decades now!
If anything, 35 is certainly proof that I ain’t getting any younger here…
And I think I’m ok with that, for the most part, anyways.
I don’t really want to be 18 anymore – girls wouldn’t talk to me and I still lived in my Mom’s basement.
25 was a little better – some girls were willing to talk to me and I played video games every moment of free time that I had.
30? Meh … by then I was already married and found myself bludgeoned by the fact that reproduction was going to be significantly more expensive for my family than it was for most.
31 – 34 … I honestly don’t even remember those birthdays anymore!
And that brings us to the big 35 – right in the middle between 30 and 40, and I suppose if I had to put it into words that’s about where I feel I am. There’s always something more just off on the horizon – more kids, more career opportunities, more changes. Admittedly it kind of makes it hard to live in the moment when you’re constantly focusing on the future like that – I guess that’s one thing in particular that I’m trying to keep in mind at this particular focal point of my life.
I also think that I’m starting to acquire just the smallest amount of that so-called wisdom that you sometimes hear old timers talking about. For me, it’s been in trying to filter out the things that I actually care about in life from the rest of the noise, and there’s a lot of noise, I’m certainly finding! Occasionally I’ll come across something that not five years ago I was immensely passionate about, and yet nowadays I find myself just shrugging my shoulders and saying, “Whatever…”
Right now more than ever, I recognize that time is my most valuable asset, and I think that wisdom is simply in trying not to waste it on stupid things that just don’t really matter in the big picture anymore.
I have a sneaky feeling that the next five years are going to pass by a lot more quickly than I would like, which I guess is a little ironic considering all of that forward-thinking stuff that I mentioned earlier … by the time that I turn 40, Christopher will be starting school and hopefully we’ll have two more in his footsteps, we’ll be getting ready to move into a new house, Cleo will be just as loud and obnoxious as ever…
Thankfully some things never change! 😉
As a little inspirational message to my future self whenever I circle back to this blog post again, here’s a video that I’ve watched many, many times before but the words ring true each and every time that I hear them. This clip dates back to 1984 from the eulogy that Muppet performer Richard Hunt gave at Jim Henson’s memorial service…
“Jim did not cling to the past, he did not worry about the future – that would work itself out…
And he did not live for the moment.
Instead, he lived in the moment … because that’s all we really have.”
So as I turn the big, old number 35, here’s to living in the moment. Above anything else, let’s have some fun… 😀