ScottSevener.com

It all started with me working another year at scout camp … reluctantly.

It had seemed clear after the previous year that I didn’t really want to return, and yet there I was, with the pitiful paycheck compared to the real world to prove it. There were a couple of upsides, though – for one, somehow my veteran staff member status had attracted me a fair number of fans, many of who came bearing gifts for me when they first arrived at camp, so that was cool!

And also, I had significantly nicer accommodations than ever before, in that my room was comparable to a suite at a nicer hotel, and I didn’t even have a roommate to share it with, so definitely a step up from the tents and even later cabins that I’d called home while I worked there before.

That said, it was still a really weird experience because everything at the camp I had once known had been redesigned and moved, and nobody could produce a map … well, one guy did, but it was literally a map of the USA, but divided into boxes, with each box being a campsite or area or dining hall or whatever. So it was basically useless, and I spent a lot of time just wandering around, trying to find my dinner because they’d also changed how everybody ate – instead of the staff eating with the campers, all of them got to go first … and the food was buffet-style in another room which I never did end up locating.

I did find the dessert tables and treated myself to a small piece of chocolate cake, but I never got around to eating it because I wanted the rest of my dinner first.

So one day it was announced that the staff was going on a trip – a bit of a team building exercise – and so we all boarded this futuristic-looking train and rode for hours and hours until I eventually started to get the feeling that something didn’t feel quite right. It was almost as if the scenery off in the distance around us was on some sort of loop, like it didn’t really exist in the first place, but before I could question it they suddenly announced that we had arrived as we approached this city that looked like it was having some sort of celebration…

In fact, right as we were passing over this pond on our way to the terminal, or so we thought, we saw a rocket that looked a lot like a missile launching out of the water that appeared to be aiming straight for us. Instead, it just sort of hovered next to the train before exploding overhead in a bunch of fireworks, but it still felt wrong because by now the train had stopped entirely and our host was walking down the aisle, asking if we were ready for the adventure of a lifetime.

It was then that I noticed the significant restraint system built into each of the chairs that we were all sitting in, and for some reason as I looked down at the water below us, I got the instinct that we were about to get dropped into it, which terrified me as I scrambled to buckle my harness as most of the people around us did the same while our host just sort of laughed at everyone before finally saying, “Good luck…” and then, she was gone.

Or we were gone, possibly, because despite everyone buckling in, we all soon found ourselves underwater anyways, fighting for survival as the group was presented with a couple of different paths that we could take … none of them being back up towards the surface.

After about twenty of us or so made it down one corridor and were eventually able to surface, we found ourselves staring at a large, brick wall blocking our path until suddenly we heard a great cackling and a very large, red man appeared … who bore a striking resemblance to Mon*Star from the old 80’s cartoon, Silverhawks.

*ahem*

It soon became clear that he was our adversary in this bizarre “adventure,” as he laughed maniacally and then proceeded to explain how part of our group had already perished. It seems that one of the paths that we hadn’t taken did indeed appear to lead to the surface, but before you could get there you had to climb a large staircase. Mon*Star then waved his hand and the brick wall behind him showed the illusion of a staircase. At the top of this staircase, he explained, our friends would find a special cache of weapons to aid in their escape, however ultimately they wouldn’t matter because in the time that it took everyone to figure out how to use them, his minions would’ve ripped everyone to shreds.

Mon*Star then waved his hand again and the illusionary staircase became an open corridor, to which he beckoned us to proceed and said something ominous before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Eager to get away from the treacherous waters before they presented any new dangers, we all ran forward down the corridor much like herded cattle until we ended up in what was very much a giant maze. Almost systematically, it seemed that our group thinned out smaller and smaller with each turn. Somehow I got separated off from the rest and wandered for a bit inconsequentially on my own before I eventually reconnected with some people who were all streaming seemingly towards a dead-end at the end of the hall.

When one of my friends saw me dipping back into line, they discretely patted me on the back, which was when I noticed the wings that everyone was now wearing and saw that my friend had donated an extra pair to me.

The line soon took another dark turn when suddenly our foe appeared again, this time cackling from above as he threatened, “I see you found the wings, but do you know how to use them?! Better learn quickly…” 

Suddenly the floor beneath our feet began to smoke and catch fire, with screams erupting throughout the crowd as many soon found that flying was more difficult than they would have anticipated. I was one of the few who escaped to the next floor of the maze where we oddly enough found a bit of assistance in the form of our favorite superheroes, each of whom were able to lend their powers to one individual if you touched them. I first encountered The Hulk and envisioned smashing Mon*Star through the wall and ending this sick, little game of his, but then after careful thought I came across another hero – The Mighty Thor – who seemed even more beefed up than usual as he handed me Mjölnir and then also offered to take me to “someplace that I might find interesting…”

Eager to put the famed hammer to use for flight purposes because my own wings had since vanished, I followed Thor out the window that looked much like that of a castle … surprised that this level of the maze even had windows … and then found myself on a landing one level up where we looked out onto the clouds, with many other castles poking through the sky just like the one that we stood on. Thor then explained that each was a separate level of the maze, featuring things that people would recognize from popular culture. All of the towers were linked by the maze, as I would soon find that in fact the level beneath us that was previously his realm could now be revisited to discover the lair of Mon*Star himself…

The God of Thunder then disappeared without another hint and I proceeded to hover back down, determined to end this bizarre dream, however as I hid behind one of the columns in the large hallway, even holding the mighty hammer still in my hand, one look at Mon*Star as he came walking down the hallway with his goons convinced me that I didn’t have what it took to down the evil beast … at least not yet.

Unfortunately, several of my companions who had found their way to Mon*Star’s lair on their own didn’t feel the same lack of confidence and proceeded to blitz the red armored creature from their own hiding spots, which quickly became an ugly bloodbath that I knew even my own participation wouldn’t have changed. I did, however, see an opportunity to explore more of Mon*Star’s lair while the others kept him occupied, and slipping away down the hall past the fray, only to discover a lightly guarded warp zone that the boss man himself used to transport himself to the far reaches of his maze.

After quickly throwing Mjölnir to dispatch the guards that stood nearby, I jumped inside as soon as I heard Mon*Star screaming in victory and went off to explore the rest of the maze in search of a weakness that I could use against him.

For whatever reason I had returned to my hometown and was walking down the small street where I grew up when I saw my neighbor walking with a younger girl who was frantically approaching mailboxes randomly and removing the contents.

This seemed weird, but not enough to stop and ask what was going on until I reached my own and found that it was full of loose change piled around the other mail. As I was counting it, the two walked up and that’s when I noticed that what the girl was carrying was a large envelope filled with change, along with upon further inspection a traffic ticket or something that carried a pretty hefty fine … of which the girl had tried to pay with change.

As I asked her why in the world she’d tried to mail so much coinage and didn’t instead just go down to the police station to pay the fine directly, she hinted somewhat scared that she didn’t have any other choice and that she was the victim of some new people on the block paying a prank on her…

And it wasn’t long before I would find out exactly who those new pranksters were…

…because apparently they were a gang.

The thugs had taken up residence in the house kiddie-corner to my own, and soon two of them had come out into the street to see what the fuss was about, causing my change-toting neighbor to bolt and leave me to fend for myself. It started with some verbal harassment, along with noticing the graffiti that they’d done to colorfully change the name on the mailbox as well as a couple of signs in the front yard for a business we were running.

I don’t know why, but I guess I had a feeling that a fight was going to erupt anyways, so despite my nature I threw the first punch and knocked one of the thugs on the ground.

The second guy honestly never really did much of anything except watch and egg his buddy on, who thankfully (and surprisingly) wasn’t much of a match for me! Although we struggled for a while, I always managed to keep the upper hand but it never slipped my mind that eventually more of this guy’s buddies were going to show up and that was going to be the end of it for me…

That said, somehow the struggle subsided and we ended up arguing some more that devolved into these thugs negotiating their bribes that they expected from us to get them to just leave us and everyone else in the neighborhood alone. Now we were back in their house and their demands were ridiculous – they wanted me to pay for a solar system to get them off the grid at their house, and I said no.

I countered saying that I’d give them an XBox or Playstation if they’d just drop it and let it go, around which time someone much more senior – possibly a father figure – arrived and sort of chuckled at the exchange before he put the fear back into me and confirmed that there would be no bargaining.

To show this, he pulled out a box cutter and began cutting up a section of the carpet, as if to show that the alternative was just to kill me right then and there, and roll my body up in the carpet before disposing of it out of sight.

The old man’s counter to me was that I was going to help them sell drugs, and although I had no idea how that was going to work, at the time it sounded better than getting rolled up in the carpet.

* * * * * * * * * *

Flash forward, but back in time – I lived in a society that was heavily monitored by … someone.

I found myself in a small camp that very much just felt like a normal state park, except that there were cameras attached to some of the buildings and whatnot and we all knew that we were constantly being watched.

I was sitting at a picnic table with my family just enjoying everyone’s company, and spirits were generally upbeat until I for some reason had to go back inside for a minute. Ducking to the side of the building, I was trying to time the camera so that I could sneak in unseen when this guy walked by and, noting what I was doing, he mentioned that he sold tools that people like myself could use to avoid being detected by the powers that be…

I didn’t quite know what this meant, but he didn’t give me much time to figure it out because suddenly he had to leave in a hurry and eventually I just went back inside, cameras be damned.

There I found another family meticulously counting a pile of coins that had been dumped on the table, and shortly after I entered another of them came in – presumably returning home from work – and deposited more change for the family to get to work counting. As I helped them stack a few rows, I commented that it seemed weird that only coins and not bills had survived because bills were so much easier to carry and use … only to be countered by one of the older women who simply explained that they didn’t pay us enough to warrant using any larger denominations anyway … as she continued carefully counting out the pennies as if their food and shelter depended on it.

And then … word got to me that I was being pursued.

I quickly said my goodbyes and took off running long before they showed up, disappearing into a nearby field that was filled with that very tall, iconic wheat that made it very easy to hide in. A couple of men approached on horses, however they proved to be friends – one of them handing off their horse to me and pointing me in the best direction while they took off in the opposite to hopefully slow down my hunters.

Eventually making my way through the fields, I came to a small town on the water where I was able to momentarily relax, and in my quick explorations I found an enemy tank that had been left by the side of the road and happened to be remote controlled.

Needless to say, I had some fun with this, using the remote to send the tank tearing off down the road until it accidentally got derailed on a bridge and just sort of stuck there blocking foot traffic.

That’s when they showed up again, and I was able to duck underneath a rail bridge just before it crossed a large body of water between two countries – myself running one way undetected while my pursuers could be seen through the slats above rapidly running the other way looking for me. I knew that all I had to do was get to the other side and somehow I would be safe, but with the bridge above me covered with troopers, that was going to involve a lot of swimming.

* * * * * * * * * *

And then in a very much unrelated tale, we were at Disneyland with Cleo trying to get around a parade route and somehow she ran off following one of the floats and ended up getting hit. A worker brought her back to us, pointing out that she had broken her back leg, and we were left trying to figure out what to do about it.

We were vacationing at this really nice beach resort – the kind that boasted all sorts of activities along the beach like live music in the evenings and games and whatnot – so I was just lounging around enjoying listening to one of the acoustic guitar players when my ears perked up to hear another type of music that was playing further off in the distance…

Eventually the beach turned into a rocky area that was elevated up from the sand, but also very flat so that you could still walk on the rocks along the shore. There were a few people wandering off in this direction, though not nearly as many as on the beach itself, so I decided to do a little exploring and made my way along the rocks, the music – that of a saxophone player – growing louder as the other people grew fewer, until I was the only person left on this peninsula of rocks jutting out into the ocean, the source of the saxophone music nowhere to be found.

As the rocks seemed to transform into this series of caves, I pushed forward out of curiosity despite the feeling that it was getting more and more dangerous with every step. I soon found myself staring at sort of this puzzle within the rocks, almost like out of an Indiana Jones movie where much larger rocks now rolled back and forth, and you needed to time it just right to make it through the opening without getting crushed.

After waiting for a while and timing out the rocks, I finally decided to throw caution to the wind and went for it, ducking through the last opening to find myself in this bizarre cave that was made up very much like a house and just so happened to be filled with video games!

There I was greeted by three people that seemed nice enough, and they invited me to stay for a while and play some games because they didn’t get many visitors where they were. I browsed their gaming collection for a while that happened to span several walls until I noticed that all three of them were congregated in the kitchen … and something just didn’t feel quite right.

The three of them – a woman, a man, and a younger child – invited me to sit down for some food, but by then I was growing cautious and it quickly became clear that they knew this as well. It was when the youngest made reference of “having Chinese” the night before and witnessing the nearby pots that were filled with something not so much resembling chicken that my gut confirmed that these people were the real danger in this cave…

…because, in fact, they weren’t actually people at all!

I never did find out what they really were – I didn’t want to know – but seizing the opportunity, I first knocked the youngest one unconscious with a nearby pot and then struggled with the other two until I was able to subdue them and make my escape. Grabbing the towel that for some reason I had brought with me, I made my way back through the caves and along the beach until I returned quite frantically to the resort and tried to explain to my wife what had happened, though I think that she was even more confused at that point than I was!

We sat in sort of a ballroom area where other family was gathering for the next activity that we were going to do together, the whole time my eyes remained locked on the same door that I had come in, convinced that these things were chasing me and would eventually track me back to the resort. Admittedly I sort of freaked out when at one point I turned around to find that the ballroom had not just the one, but three open doors for my aliens to sneak through in their pursuit and I certainly couldn’t be watching all three of them at the same time.

For some reason, it was then that I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and opened it up in shock to see that in my hasty retreat, I had somehow grabbed the wallet of one of their other victims instead of my own … meaning that they had all of my information at their fingertips, including my home address where I slept at night.