Back at the beginning of the month, I spent some time while I was supposed to be writing a humor column a couple of evenings instead tweeting some of my best advice to the latest folks to take on NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month – the annual challenge in which thousands of people try their hand at writing the first draft of a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. Because as you’ve probably already guessed, yours truly is just bursting with sage-like wisdom and with deadlines quickly approaching, what better way to avoid doing actual work than by “helping” others?! 💡
Truth be told, I had intended to make a fun, little series out of these and tweet a few new ones each day throughout the entire month, however instead below is all that I ever got around to! Still, it was a fun way to kill some time, albeit I’m sure probably more than a little obnoxious for anyone looking for actual help via Twitter while they were trying to write…
- I think it’s time that I helped out with this, too! Not sure if you realize this, but 50,000 words is A LOT!!! #nanowrimo #helping
- Tip #1: If you give me a cameo reading my last tweet, that’s 23 words right there! #nanowrimo #helping
- Tip #2: Look at those trees outside your window. Tell us about them. Boom – two more chapters, easily! #nanowrimo #helping
- Tip #3: If your dog really could talk, he’d be hauled off immediately for scientific testing. Be realistic. #nanowrimo #helping
- Tip #4: Women have more feelings than men, so include some to keep your story balanced. Also, boobs. #nanowrimo #helping
- Tip #5: Give your characters something to fight for – cash money is something that all readers can relate to. #nanowrimo #helping
- Tip #6: OMG – what’s that behind you?! Inspiration. Hope you’re writing a thriller… #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #7: Try to devote at least 500 words each day to writing about the weather – you know, so people can relate. #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #8: Ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery is scientifically proven to help improve your word count. #NaNoWriMo #helping #gottahaveit
- (that last tip was sponsored by your wife, who really wants you to take her to Cold Stone)
- Tip #9: Name the evil villain after your boss – I mean, he’s never gonna find out anyways! #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #10: Don’t write the sex scenes you’re having, write the sex scenes that you WANT to be having. #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #11: Word Count spelled backwards is TNUOC DROW. D&D fans will recognize that as a type of dark elf! #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #12: Ever wonder why hippos don’t get more of the respect that they deserve? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6vJXRwsoSk) #NaNoWriMo #helping #hippos
- Tip #13: If you need to take a bathroom break, have your characters take one, too. Plot twist! #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #14: If her nose is truly as delicate as a wavering rose petal, for god sakes, tell us more! #NaNoWriMo #helping
Oh, what the heck – let’s do just a few more, for old time’s sake!
- Tip #15: If you’re just starting NaNoWriMo today, you need to write 34 words per minute for the next 24 hours straight – no pressure! #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #16: At least three of your characters should be dead by now or you’re not really writing a comedy. #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #17: Nothing says conclusion like…SEQUEL!!! #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #18: Some leftover pumpkin pie would really hit the spot right about now… #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #19: Word count still short? Try a table of contents – all of the best novels have at least 3 or 4 of them. #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #20: Use your dedication to smooth things over with the girlfriend or spouse who you’ve been neglecting to “write your stupid novel.” #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #21: Montages don’t work nearly as good in books as they do in the movies, even if you put songs from Rocky in the margins. #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #22: Sometimes the most unexpected conclusions involve aliens. #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #23: You might already be past this, but I’ve always liked the name Snidely for an antagonist. Or maybe Mortimer… #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #24: It’s natural to cry on the last day before your deadline. Welcome to being a writer. #NaNoWriMo #helping
- Tip #25: If I were to write a novel about writing tweets for NaNoWriMo, I’d already be 1% done. See, writing’s easy! #NaNoWriMo #helping
Glad I could be of service – same time next year?! 