my horoscope for today…

a la The Onion

Virgo August 23 – September 22

You know it’s not truly over until the fat lady sings, but my God, the enormous bitch is taking forever.

From days past…

September 14, 2005
Issue 41-37

Virgo You’re a proud individual, and there are just some things that you’ve never been able to bring yourself to say, but “Give me some more goddamned fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy right fucking now” isn’t one of them.

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