Verizon FiOS vs Programming 101

verizon_form

I couldn’t believe the error message that I got this morning from Verizon’s website – this is a contact form that they have to request assistance about one’s account, and yet apparently whoever designed it must have a problem with contractions or something because what kind of programmer doesn’t escape special characters from a text field, instead demanding that the user simply “avoid using them” altogether?!

It took me as much time to go through and remove all of my apostrophes as it did to write the original message! Thank god I wasn’t actually emailing them about something that would require MATH because apparently those operators are on Verizon’s shit list, too!  😕

 

2012 Holiday Advent Blog – Day 6 – a Holiday Home of Our New House

door_wreathI know it’s not all going to happen this year, as partially mentioned in yesterday’s advent post, but one thing that my wife and I are certainly looking forward to long term with our new house is really working to turn it into a cozy, little home for the holidays.

That’s certainly one thing that I’m rather nostalgic from my own childhood – my Mom in particular did a great job of fully embracing each of the holidays with special Hallmark decorations for the walls, but especially Christmas was much more of an all-encompassing experience from even before you stepped in the door … with lights and snowflakes filling the front windows and a wreath on the door, followed by Snoopy in a Santa hat on the wall and miniature lit Christmas trees throughout the house in addition to the main attraction out in the living room.

It’s the kind of thing that over time Sara and I want to create here in our own home, especially as we get closer to having kids ourselves. We’ve already got our own little Lego holiday village, which I’m sure will make an appearance in this year’s advent once we get a chance to build the new set we got for it! We’ve also got the lights for outside, and I’m slowly going to try to bring some indoors as well because why should they only go on the tree itself?! What else from there remains to be foreseen – perhaps some garland for the mantle we don’t have yet, or one of those DecemBear advent calendars like the one that hung on my wall at home to track our progress to presents throughout the month?

So many choices, so many options are we try not merely to copy our own childhoods, but more so to use them as examples as we build a holiday home between us of our very own. Will Christmas music kick off the moment someone opens the front door? Will Cleo come running to greet visitors wearing antlers and a shiny, red nose?! (don’t count on that last one…)

This is something that we could never fully embrace while renting one home or another, but now it’s an entirely new angle of home ownership that’s fun and exciting all on its own!  :mrgreen:

2012 Holiday Advent Blog – Day 5 – Lights! Well, sort of…

lights

Alas, I have a feel that this might be as good as it gets this year for lighting our new home. After being stored away out of use for almost two years, it seems like a good 50% of the strings we had are only partially working now, and on top of that there are some parts of the house like around the edge of the roof where I would need more strings to boot, but … there are none here only in the first week of December already!

And here even I think that seeing lights up for sale at Walmart and Target in October seems a bit “excessive!” 😯

Definitely going to need to make some plans for a big overhaul next year.

And if I have my way, that big tree in the middle of the front yard has got to go, too… 😛

Discontinued Lego Train Pulls Into Station for One of Its Biggest Fans

And while we’re on the subject of Legos, here’s a touching story about the Lego Company helping to connect an 11-year old fan with a set that he’d been saving up for over 2 years, but then was unable to actually find for purchase because it had since been discontinued…

(It might make more sense to read the story first and then watch the video.)

Neat story, and exciting to think that this is just the kind of thing that motivates a fan during childhood to become a pro builder as an adult! This kid’s passion for Legos could have him building new models for Legoland further on down the road – very cool, indeed. :mrgreen:

The Hobbit Legos have hit the shelves!!!

I was pretty surprised to see new Lego sets for The Hobbit at Walmart the other night, so of course I couldn’t help but pick just one up for myself!

I’m not really sure whether I like the Lord of the Rings series or these new ones more just yet – I’ve only had a chance to get a couple of the LOTR sets so far, and I honestly haven’t even assembled the Weathertop set that my Mom got me for my birthday yet. Still, I’m sure we’re all thinking the same thing as we anticipate future Hobbit sets as part 2 of the movie appears on the horizon for next winter – are we eventually going to see a Lego set featuring the likes of SMAUG?!?!?!

These guys (rightfully so) pushed so hard with the Harry Potter franchise over the last couple of years, all this Tolkien fan can hope is that The One Ring gets an equal amount of brick love, assuming that the first movie doesn’t flop and all!

P.S. Is it weird that out of all the extra parts that I got with Riddles for the Ring, I actually got duplicates both of Sting – Bilbo’s famed sword – and also of The One Ring itself?! Oh, the Dark Lord would be mighty jealous, indeed… 😯

2012 Holiday Advent Blog – Day 4 – Candlelight with Whoopi

Over the weekend my wife and I spent Saturday at Epcot taking in all of the park’s and surrounding resorts’ holiday decorations, and also watching the Candlelight Processional for our 4th year. It was a beautiful day – we ate an early dinner at the Rose & Crown Dining Room at the UK Pavilion, with seats right on the water looking out across World Showcase lagoon, and then after a surprisingly good meal we headed over to the theater for Candlelight.

This year we jumped at the calendar rather early and decided to try our luck with Whoopi Goldberg, who ended up being a lot of fun and also a great speaker to boot. My Mom would tell you that my first “date” was going to see Sister Act with a girl in the 5th grade, but nonetheless, I’ve always been a big fan … loved all of her work with Comic Relief in particular … and in general it’s always interesting to see how the different celebrity narrators put their own spin on the same story. Well maybe spin isn’t the right phrase … inflection?

She was a great narrator either way – I can’t really pick favorites because we’ve seen so many good ones over the years – but it was a great show, and we were both particularly thankful that the weather worked out in our favor so that we could enjoy the show without getting absolutely drenched this year! 😯

2012 Holiday Advent Blog – Day 3 – Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas

I saw the headlines again the other day, so I just can’t help myself but to say this – if it wasn’t for FOX News, the “war on Christmas” wouldn’t even exist.

The thing is, they get people riled up on this every single year when for the rest of us, the divisions that take place are honestly pretty clear to the naked eye. The best way that I can think to describe it is by dividing our country up into three groups…

  • Individuals – Free to say whatever they’d like – Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Get Off My Lawn, or whatever – and this is motivated by their own personal beliefs.
  • Businesses – Motivated by a mixture of beliefs and profits, though some may choose to align themselves with a particular religion, many these days design their marketing around Happy Holidays just to make sure that they’re not leaving out any of their potential customers. Nothing personal – it’s just good business.
  • Government – And the last one, driven by our Constitution, also find Happy Holidays to be the most appropriate moniker because the first amendment prohibits the establishment of a national religion.

I guess I just don’t understand why it matters what everybody else says – if you’re a Christmas man, say Merry Christmas, and if Hanukkah is more your style, then announce Happy Hanukkah whenever you walk into a room. I personally use Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas interchangeably, though I tend to reserve Merry Christmas more for Christmas Day and fall back on Happy Holidays to refer to the season in general because, well, I’m a writer and that’s how those words actually work! 😉

If you really want to dig down deep into it, I personally don’t celebrate Christmas for the “religious reasons” as much as I just enjoy the spirit of the season in general, with Santa and giving presents and eating cookies and all of that, but even though I get that the words may be closer to home for those who do celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday, I’m still bereft as to how other people’s choice of words could somehow impact your own enjoyment of the season at large.

If it’s my birthday and somebody tells me, “Nice hat!” instead of wishing me “Happy Birthday!” when we pass on the street, that doesn’t make it any less my birthday nor does it somehow impact the ways in which I choose to celebrate said birthday…

…unless one of them happened to be showing off my new birthday hat, I suppose! 😀

But as for whether the weekly circular from Sears boasts Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, I just don’t see why it matters because regardless of the choice of phrase, the real message behind the rhetoric is pretty much the same – “Hey, nice hat – why don’t you come buy some of our stuff?” No one is declaring war on Christmas and you’re really just doing a disservice to the true spirit of the season by trying to play sides instead of focusing on helping other people, which from what I’ve heard is kind of a big thing in Jesus’s book.

And as for the government shying away from Christmas This and Christmas That, well again, they’re just trying to be inclusive of the entire population as a whole, including the 27% of Americans who affiliate themselves with a religion other than Christianity or even none at all. Nothing vindictive or anti-Christian – just trying to be fair because in the face of religion, it isn’t the government’s place to pick sides.

This post was inspired by a video I found from Penn Jillette a few days ago in which he speaks rather eloquently on the topic…

What is humor???

So I guess you could say that I got a little riled up last night by this post, though afterwards I was later tipped off that it was actually intended to be a joke.

The thing is, I’m still not laughing, and the more I thought about it, it got me wondering … is a joke still a joke if you don’t find it funny?

I didn’t intend to make it a philosophical discussion or anything, but humor is definitely a subjective matter and there are certainly types of humor that I don’t personally find funny, but still would qualify them as humor in general. Case in point is pretty much every Tyler Perry movie ever made – I don’t think that kind of humor is funny, but clearly a lot of people do and the man has been very successful with his career, so I have no problem qualifying that as comical even though it doesn’t make me personally laugh.

I guess the issue I take with this and some other political humor that I’ve seen recently is … not only is it just blatantly not true, but it’s an exaggeration of something that’s blatantly not true.

Just looking at the first “reason” on the list – “I voted Democratic because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I now may marry my Labrador.” Gay marriage has never been about this, even though the folks against it love to paint their slippery slope which results in people being able to marry furniture and farm animals and imaginary friends as a consequence of also allowing men to marry other men and women to marry other women.

Is the reason why I don’t find that funny because it feels like a poke in the face of a serious civil rights issue that seems ridiculous that we even have to fight over it in the first place?

On one hand, I’ve never been one to think that there are really any topics that are truly “off limits” for a good-natured ribbing, but maybe it’s just that it only applies with the right kind of joke. I think that makes sense – I don’t care if you make fun of rape if you make the right kind of joke, but make the wrong one and you end up looking like an asshole.

Then again, I’m sure that there are plenty of rape victims who would strongly argue that no rape joke is an acceptable rape joke … again, it’s very subjective to the individual hearing the joke.

That’s tough for a guy like me who’s supposed to run a humor site that appeals to many different senses of humor because though I’d run a promo for a new Tyler Perry movie or possibly even this hypothetical rape joke, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to share something like Twelve Reasons Why I Voted Democratic as a legitimate humor offering because I guess I can’t help but think that anyone who thinks that is actually funny is an idiot.

Twelve Reasons Why You Clearly Don’t Understand the Democratic Party

I think somebody could create a really popular website that just does nothing but corrects all of misinformed, erroneous crap that gets shared around on Facebook by all of our misinformed, republican friends and family members.

You know, crap like this:

I hope whoever put that together at least had some fun stringing misnomer after misnomer together all in one convenient, yet blatantly wrong “letter to the editor” because I don’t think I’ve read such a ridiculous misunderstanding of the opposite party since the last time that Sarah Palin opened her mouth.

Just a few words on some of my own favorites…

#1. Nobody wants to marry their Labradors, you stupid fuck. People, on the other hand – just like you and me – would like the right to marry one another because, well, all men are created equal.” That was in a pretty popular book a while ago – maybe you’ve heard of it.

#3. I’m sure in some ways you’re better and in some ways your government is actually better. How’s the last freeway that you built with your own money holding up? Or the public school, or the local art museum, or that homeless shelter that you no doubt support wholeheartedly, being so pro-life and all!

#4. Huh?

#5. Seriously – what do you need an AK-47 for, anyways?! What the hell kind of deer are you hunting out there that you have to have a semi-automatic assault rifle in your arsenal to be able to hold your ground with??? You know, I’m actually pretty firmly behind the Right to Bear Arms in principle, but when you start talking all crazy like we’re trying to take away your precious every five minutes, that’s where we start thinking that maybe just a few reasonable limitations might not be a terrible idea… 😯

#6. Like we learned in 5th grade science class, climate and weather are not the same thing.

#7. 2.4 million people die in the United States of America each year. Nearly 600,000 die of heart disease; 567k die from cancer. Over 36,000 people commit suicide each year, and 16,000 people are killed by other people. What’s your opinion on those epidemics around America??? For the last time, let’s frame your position correctly – you’re not pro-life, you’re just anti-choice – because if you were really pro-life, those numbers would bother you even more than the 1.2 million abortions that are performed each year. Why does your party put more value in those who haven’t even been born yet than those Americans who already walk beside us every day?

#10. Wait a second – which party wants to reverse Roe v. Wade and which one wants to ensure equal rights, including the right to marry, for all of our citizens again? The funny thing about rights is that they should never apply to just some of the people and those same people should certainly never be voting for them. Those kooks, as you so lovingly called them, have rights, too.

#12. And lastly, that particular position has been proven to be not even physically possible, though I suppose your party seems to have no problem refuting plenty of other proven facts and truths…

Unlike the letter above, let’s be perfectly clear – if you liked or shared this around on Facebook, and got a laugh out of reading this because you think that it perfectly defines everything that you’re against in our political system, you may as well have your Labrador go vote for you next time because you’re honestly going to hurt somebody getting behind the wheel of a car with brain damage like that. I have no problem admitting that the democratic party has plenty of faults, just like the republicans, but this list of twelve things doesn’t do justice in identifying any of them and if this is the kind of nonsense that you use to base your political opinion, just stop.

Make up your mind with actual information, not the misinformed rhetoric that 4,529 other idiots have already shared around on Facebook. Otherwise it just makes you look stupid, too.

2012 Holiday Advent Blog – Day 2 – ‘Tis the Season to be Sharing, Fred…

I never really even liked Fruity Pebbles, but as a child of the ’80s commercials like this tended to get stuck in my head pretty regularly … kind of like it did this morning before I figured out what to blog for today’s advent!

“Ho-ho-ho, I’m hu-hu-hungry! Santa – my Pebbles?!”

“Your Pebbles?!?!?!”

“‘Tis the season to be sharing, Fred…”

“Happy holidays, Pal!”

😀