ScottSevener.com

I’ll just go ahead and admit it – I like food.
I have my favorites – potato chips, pizza, and Chinese food, to name a few – and I think this is one of the places where I really struggle because:

A) It’s hard to resist my favorite foods.
B) I’m always afraid that if I give them up, I’ll never have them again (or if I do, I’ll instantly balloon back to my ginormous weight).

This time around, I’ve been doing a lot better with regards to splurging in the middle of the night … this used to be a big problem because I’d get up for some water and end up snacking out a few hundred calories like they were nothing in the process. At one point it got so bad that I consciously would close the pantry doors in our kitchen before bed to act as a deterrent if I got up in the middle of the night. And most of the time it did work, I think because I was still awake just enough to allow the doors to help me feel guilty about eating in the middle of the night.

My latest difficulties seem to float around lunch because, especially when I’m having a really bad day and opt to go buy lunch, it’s really easy to steer away from the healthy options and sabotage myself. For example, earlier this week I opted to hit up Quiznos instead of Subway for lunch:

(calories are all approximates based on memory – didn’t feel like looking them all up)
Actual Quiznos’ Lunch: (1,490 calories total)
Regular Baja Chicken Sub – 890 calories
Chips – 200 calories
Brownie – 400 calories

Typical Subway Lunch: (650 calories total)
6” Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki Sub – 450 calories
Chips – 200 calories

So basically in one meal, I managed to consume three quarters of the amount of calories that I should normally eat for the entire day! Not to mention I felt really bloated afterwards, which serves me right, but had I stayed on target and either made something myself or at least opted for a healthier meal, I’d have been better off in the long run. Of course, in the short term all I could think was, “Baja Chicken = yummy. Brownie = yummy+1!”

It seems like one of the most important things when attempting to lose weight, so it kind of makes sense that I should write about this first. And mind you, some of these points are going to be kind of hard to put down in words, but hopefully seeing them there on the page will serve as an extra reminder of why this is really, truly worth all of the effort this time around…

I’m tired of my clothes fitting too tight…
…or not fitting at all, for that matter. I hate being self-conscious about the way I look and not being able to wear something as simple as certain Hawaiian shirts that I used to because they strain around my bulbous gut these days. It doesn’t help, either, when shorts and pants are always too tight because I’m in denial of what sizes I should actually be wearing.

I’m tired of gasping when I see myself sideways in pictures or a mirror.
Sometimes it just doesn’t seem that bad when it’s from my own perspective, but when I look in the mirror and see just how large my gut really is, it’s really embarrassing. I may not see myself this way, but everyone else does. I’ve never really been Mr. Confidence when it comes to how I look, but at least not being self-conscious because I’m fat would be a good start.

I’m tired of getting winded over things that I really shouldn’t.
Stairs, long walks in the heat, other things – being overweight means that I often times find myself out of breath a lot more than I would like. I don’t care about running marathons or anything, but keeping up with the people around me would be nice. Also, eventually kids are going to be a part of my life and I definitely don’t want to be that Dad who can’t keep up with his own kids.

I’m starting to get worried about actual health issues.
I’m finally getting to the point where I feel like I’m getting older and the older I get, the more I start to realize that I can’t really write off the health effects of being overweight simply because I’m “still young.” Right now I have high blood pressure, but diabetes also runs in my family and I also really worry about heart attacks after what happened to my Dad. Life is too short as it is – I don’t want to have to worry about these things cutting it any shorter…

I’m tired of just being tired all of the time.
I know that my erratic sleep schedule is also a major factor, but lately I’ve found myself feeling really tired and lethargic in the evenings and I can only imagine that lugging around 45 pounds of extra weight has got to be at least partly to blame. I’ve felt it in the past where after a while of exercising, I’ll feel like I’ve got more energy, and even though I realize that now I’ve got farther to go to get back there, it’s still a goal because I’ve just got too many other ambitions for my days to end at 8:00pm!

I could probably elaborate more, but I think that’s the basic top five. There you have it … now just to do something about it…

Ok, here we go again…

I don’t want to get all long and drawn out about it, but needless to say, I recently started yet another attempt at shedding these unwanted pounds and getting back to a target weight that’s a little more appropriate for a healthy life. I’m not happy about my current weight and with my 30th birthday happening this summer, I feel like time is rapidly running out for my previously established goal of attaining a healthy weight by the time I reach 30.

The thing is, weight loss is hard. If I went back and counted, I’d probably be pretty ashamed at how many times I’ve started (and subsequently failed) at various weight loss attempts over the years. To make matters worse, I’ve even been slowly gaining weight in the process. Shortly after I first moved to Florida in 2003, I began a weight loss challenge with a friend because we were both overweight, and at the time I was floating right around 215 pounds. Seven years and umpteen diet attempts later, I’m actually 25 pounds heavier than I was back in 2003, with the notable exception that now I’m older and I don’t feel nearly as invincible as I did when I made the big decision to move south…

I’ve tried a lot of different things – heavy cardio, salad-diets, counting calories, and the list goes on – and all of these things worked for precisely about two or three weeks before I would plateau after losing maybe 10 or 15 pounds, then eventually I would give up and fail. Anyone who’s endured all of this knows just how devastating the process can be, especially when it feels like everyone else around you can eat whatever they want or spend hours more at the gym than you’re able to find in your own schedule. It can definitely be depressing, to say the very least.

…but the way I see it, all I can do is start again, try a little harder, and give it my best shot one more time. Each of those previous times, I didn’t start off planning on throwing in the towel three weeks in and it’s just counter-productive to let those ideas get the best of me this time around. Nope – this time it’s going to work. Less excuses, less late night binges, less skipping the gym when I don’t feel like it.

And that said, one thing new that I think I want to try this time is doing a better job of writing about my weight loss efforts here. Not necessarily weekly results or calorie counts like I have in the past, but instead more along the lines of what’s going through my head as I endure this process. Just in preparing to write this introduction, I’ve already come up with half a dozen different ideas of short posts to write about – frustrations, goals, random points to ponder. Over the years, writing has helped me through some pretty tough times, so who knows – maybe it’s just crazy enough to work this time!

Wouldn’t that be nice…