a not-so-sticky situation…

Posted on by Scott / 1 Comment

Ok, folks – need some ideas!

I want to hang Christmas lights out on my balcony along the railing of the screen, but I can’t seem to get anything to stick to the damn thing. I’ve tried those special 3M cup hooks, regular adhesive tape, putty – you name it. I really don’t want to use a type of glue, as I am renting and I can only imagine the headaches if it won’t come off later. The railing is pretty much a flat piece of aluminum that runs the length of the balcony – no ledges or really anything to work with, unfortunately.

About the only other option that comes to mind would be to run ornament hooks / paperclips / wire through the screen and tie them up, but I’ve done that before and it has a tendency to tear out squares of the screen over time. Help!!!

Under the Sea

Posted on by Scott / 0 Comment

Went to The Florida Aquarium for the first time with my Dad today. Pretty cool place – better than a lot of aquariums I’ve visited. A lot of junk pictures until I remembered to change the shutter speed on my camera, but there’s a few good ones in there…

http://www.comedic-genius.com/gallery/flaquarium

There’s a fruit fly zipping around my office and it’s driving me nuts…

Posted on by Scott / 3 Comments

And that line reminded me of this joke…

A bunch of guys are sitting at the bar talking when a pirate walks in – the hat, the eyepatch, wooden leg, parrot – everything, but what actually catches their attention is that the man has the captain’s wheel of a ship sticking out of his fly.

He sits at the end of the bar and they ignore him most of the night, but finally five minutes to close, one of the guys finally takes the initiative and approaches the pirate.

“Excuse me, Sir,” he begins, “I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but my friends and I couldn’t help but wonder … what’s with the captain’s wheel???”

“Arrrrggghhhh,” the pirate replies, shaking his head, “it’s driving me nuts!”

blisters suck

Posted on by Scott / 1 Comment

Ok, so I’m confused…

I bought new shoes last night – 1/2 a size larger than what I normally wear so they won’t be so tight – but after putting in 45 minutes on the old elliptical this evening, I still came out of it with the same kind of blisters that I had before. One long one on the inside of each heel and boy, do they hurt! (especially after realizing that I’ve been sitting on my foot for the past hour while using the computer!) I’ve been reading around online and it sounds like trying a different kind of socks might be in order, but if that’s not it, I’m kind of stumped.

They also started tingling a bit when I got to the 30 minute mark, but maybe that’s just the blisters forming or something? My shoes aren’t tight at all anymore now, so I can’t see how that could be the problem, but at this point my feet and I are certainly open to suggestions!

…again, with the Valentine’s Day already???

Posted on by Scott / 2 Comments

I think it’s time for me to write some new V-Day humor, but until then…

Scott and Matt’s Guide to Getting Women…
http://www.justlaugh.com/online/vol3issue2/women1.php

What Women Don’t Want…
http://www.comedic-genius.com/writing/columns/20030205_women.php

The Dating Game
http://www.comedic-genius.com/writing/columns/20030212_dating.php

True Love Means Never Having to Say, “Get Off Me – You’re Heavy…”
http://www.comedic-genius.com/writing/columns/20030219_heavy.php

All’s Fair in Love and War…Including Cyanide
http://www.comedic-genius.com/writing/columns/20030226_cyanide.php

Can We Still Be Friends?
http://www.comedic-genius.com/writing/columns/20030228_friends.php

Ten Things I Really Can’t Stand About You – a Valentine’s Day Blitzkrieg
http://www.comedic-genius.com/writing/columns/20040211_10things.php

Better luck next year!

weekend stuff

Posted on by Scott / 1 Comment
  • Stayed up until about 4 AM Friday night / Saturday morning and made some great progress where databases are concerned. It’s very nice to see my thoughts finally coming off the paper and onto the computer screen, and I’m looking forward to possibly even getting close to setting a deadline for the revamped site to go online!
  • Discovered the other day that I think I need bigger athletic shoes. 🙁 The last couple of times I’ve exercised, my left foot was getting a little tingly about twenty or so minutes in…which scared the hell out of me because isn’t that one of the major symptoms for diabetes or something?! Well, I’ve been noticing blisters a few hours after I finish working out, so I think it’s just that my shoes are too tight. Weird because they’re the same size as my regular shoes, but whatever. There goes another forty bucks…
  • Renewed my Disney pass last Friday, so I’m good to go for another year…at least as soon as the new one shows up in the mail. Probably won’t go again until March because the rest of my February weekends are filling up quick, but no doubt I’ll need a break by then!
  • Am about ready to let my match.com membership lapse again if I don’t come across someone with a hint of manners, though. It’s pretty bad when my current standards as far as meeting women is concerned are limited only to “replies to my e-mails”! I don’t care if you’re interested or not (well, I do, but…) – just reply or hit the “No thanks” button within a few days time. Don’t ignore me altogether – that’s all I ask. :<
  • Weight Loss Update: no change whatsoever. In fact, I’ve been fluctuating between 215 and 220 for a while now, so something’s got to change. One idea is that I might start keeping better track of calories and such again (yay spreadsheets), which is a pain but should help me to figure out portions better; another is that I need to incorporate more variety into my exercise routine because my body might be “getting used to” the all-cardio deal. Any suggestions???
  • Went to Leeroy Selmon’s with Dad tonight for dinner and surprisingly had a very good salad that I’m definitely going to try to imitate the next time I go to the grocery store. Grilled shrimp, water chestnuts, egg, bacon, corn, bits of guda cheese (I think) with a mustard vinegrette – talk about a salad I could get used to! Of course, lord only knows what the calorie count for that bad boy was…
  • And lastly, I think I’ve finally got a do-able plan to kickstart my writing once again. A nice pep talk Friday evening reminded me that if I really want to write professionally for a living, I should be writing pretty much every waking moment when I get home in the evenings and…for lack of a better descriptor…that’s just not happening. There are a lot of motivational and mental roadblocks that I need to break down and really, the only way for me to do that is simply by writing every single day. It might not have to be the Great American Novel, but the only way to break out of a rut like this is to keep working at it until it gives. And it’s tough for me because I haven’t written a truly good (in my opinion) humor column in nearly a year – I’ve got several dozen opinion columns that have never been published anywhere simply because although I wrote them, even I am afraid that they’re a bit too sarcastic and bitchy to be worth reading…and you know something’s wrong when I’m concerned about being too sarcastic!Even lately it’s all I’ve been able to write and I don’t want to ruin the image that people have of my work, but maybe it’s just a stage that I need to work through.So anyways, my plan for the immediate future is to sit down each night, after exercise and dinner, and write one column…or story, or chapter, or whatever. Seven columns a week on a regular basis is more than I’ve put out in a while, but maybe it’s time for a change. I know that there are a lot of reasons that I’ve enjoyed writing in the past … it’s time to get back to those days … so here’s to a wordier, happier tomorrow! And I’ll try to put a little something simple together to offer my musings online again by the end of the week – it won’t be pretty, but then again, I can’t guarantee that the writing will be, either… 😉

    P.S. Thanks for the pep talk, Court. I’ll have those memoirs on your desk in no time!

…and just to prove the little sister wrong…

Posted on by Scott / 0 Comment

Ok, so I also wanted to postpone exercise … sue me.

Four jobs you’ve had in your life:
1. Nature Director @ scout camp
2. warehouse slave
3. truck driver
4. technical analyst (current)

Four movies you could watch over and over:
1. Robin Hood: Men in Tights
2. The Muppets Take Manhattan
3. Uncle Buck
4. Disney’s Hercules

Four television shows you love:
1. Futurama
2. Curb Your Enthusiasm
3. ALF
4. The Drew Carey Show
5. The Simpsons (honorable mention because nothing else compares to Homer)

Four things you do daily:
1. brush my teeth
2. rant about the rise of conservative America
3. cheat on my diet
4. read the newspaper

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Disney World
2. Washington, D.C.
3. Cleveland
4. Gaylord, MI (didn’t see that one coming, did ya?!)

Four websites you read daily:
1. LiveJournal
2. Digg
3. BoingBoing
4. match.com (sadly enough…)

Four places you would rather be right now: (actually, I’m pretty happy where I am, so how about four places that I wouldn’t mind visiting right now?)
1. Europe
2. San Francisco
3. New York City
4. somewhere in the islands

Four bloggers you are tagging:
1. I hate to impose on people, so if you read this and feel like chiming in, by all means knock your socks off…