Only two minutes away…

Who will win???

If it ends up being Jenna, I’ll eat my hat. (translate: I really hope it isn’t Jenna!)

If either Butch or Matthew walk away with it, I’ll be happy because they’re the only honest ones left in the game. Actually I could probably even deal with Rob winning just because of the way he’s played the game – it’s made it a bit more entertaining to watch, what with him getting yelled at for all the back stabbing every week. Just as long as Jenna doesn’t win, because she’s a girl…and girls have cooties.

Oh yeah, and she seems like kind of a bitch, too, and yes, I’m easily enough of a chauvinist to say that completely guilt free!

The big night!!!

That’s right, tonight’s the big Survivor finale and guess what? I’m still up to my ass in writing assignments…

Luckily (???), I’ll be on a three-hour delay to watch the thing in the first place, so maybe I can bang out a column or two before the party begins…we’ll see what happens! In the meantime, don’t spoil it for me!

P.S. The project I’m working on right now is terribly funny, so hopefully you’ll forgive me this time. 😉

Update-o-Rama???

So here’s the deal – all of the projects and so forth that I’ve been putting off for a good couple of weeks now? Well, they’re getting done tonight!

Ok, maybe not all of them, but I’ve at least got an issue of Just Laugh, a new column for the Weekly Choice, a comic to color for L7, and a posting or two over at the personal site that stand a good chance at getting done. If this goes on much longer, I’m going to end up really, really behind and with a nice, long holiday weekend coming up here soon, that just wouldn’t be good for anybody! With any luck, there should be another post here soon, listing everything I managed to get done and how much I need to get to bed…it might end up being six o’clock in the morning, but it’ll happen…

…and as soon as this movie gets over, I can get started!

I finally got around to putting up my pictures from the Northern Michigan Rocks show from last month – enjoy!

http://www.comedic-genius.com/gallery/albums.php

This time I really am going to bed…honest!

Yeah? Well, I’m gonna go build my own Internet, with blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the Internet…

That’s right – I’ve finally succumbed to the influence of the bandwagon. Now we’ll just see if this thing really lives up to everybody else’s hype!

I don’t really have much of a plan for this yet, but I’ve been thinking about starting one up for a while now and it seemed like a good excuse to put off the ever-building list for another evening. At least here I can post a little more often and keep Comedic-Genius.com devoted to writing updates and all of that. Just what kind of wackiness can you expect to see here on a regular basis???

That all depends on how much sleep I can get tonight…

Kids will be kids…

Boys Eat Cat That Stole Christmas Dinner

(December 24, 2002 via Reuters / Yahoo! News)

NAIROBI (Reuters) – Three Kenyan schoolboys were arrested for eating a cat they suspected of stealing chickens set aside for their Christmas feast, newspapers reported on Tuesday.

The three boys aged 12-14 killed, skinned and roasted the cat for lunch last Thursday, the state-owned Kenya News Agency (KNA) reported. They were arrested after complaints from residents in Mororo village in eastern Kenya.
Merry Christmas! 🙂

The Tribe Has Spoken…

Well, the votes have been tallied, or that’s what I’m told, and I’m officially the 15th person to be voted out of the tribe in Humor Columnist Survivor. It kinda sucks because it was all because of a silly little technicality that was pointed out concerning the last immunity challenge, but then again I didn’t honestly think that I was going to make it this far in the first place, so I suppose that sixth place (out of 19) isn’t too shabby for a small-town boy from Michigan! I was up against some pretty amazing writers, and I also beat the pants off of the not-so-amazing ones – altogether it was a good time and I’m glad that Greg gave me the opportunity to take part.

My only regret is that I didn’t think of the whole idea first!

As a member of the losers circle, though, I do have one last request to my legions of fans – take your voting power and ensure that Erik Deckers takes this thing home! The rest of the contestants are great and all, but Erik’s been associated with Just Laugh the longest and since Angela already won herself a Weenie Award earlier this year, the boy definitely deserves it! Let’s make it happen, people… 😉

You all should also be aware that Survivor: Thailand finished up over the week, and I must say that this was finally a season where I was truly satisfied with the winner. I’m sure that most of the ladies saw Brian as a humungous jerk, and he certainly didn’t help that image of himself in the final tribal council, but out of all the contestants, he definitely played the game the best and deserved the million dollars…regardless of if he actually needed the money, or had a thriving career as a porn star before he did the show, or any other bs-excuse that you want to come up with because “your guy” didn’t win. I was a bit shocked to see just how close it turned out, as I assumed that it would’ve been a dead giveaway up against Clay, but then again, you know what they say about assumptions! 😮

Will I watch again next season? Absolutely! Even though the environment (The Amazon) already looks like it’s got Thailand: Part 2 written all over it, I’ll definitely be there every week, waiting to see what new goodies Mark Burnett has cooked up for us. People ridicule the show every time it comes around, but really, what’s there to complain about? Here’s a guy that just happened to hit upon a television goldmine and he’s going to tap that thing until it’s dry – the show’s been on for five seasons already, with a sixth due out in two months and casting already occurring for the seventh, and fewer and fewer shows on TV nowadays are able to pull off those kinds of numbers anymore. Other than The Real World, Burnett’s easily got the entire genre at his feet and he’d be foolish not to play that for all it’s worth!

Now if only I could find some way to exploit this new-found success…stay tuned for all the scheming details after the new year! 😎

Sleigh bells ring…hey, are you even listening?!

Well, well, well – you’re certainly in for a treat this time around! Not only do I have an update or two for your ogling pleasure, but you’re even getting a column that won’t be appearing in Just Laugh for another two days!!! That’s right – somehow I’ve managed to get it done ahead of time for a change and being the nice guy that I am, I’m throwing it up here first for your enjoyment…I just hope it doesn’t suck… 😳

I feel it’s also important to mention that an interview I did earlier last month with the guys from KewlBox Entertainment – you know, the guys who made Elf Bowling, Santa Balls, and loads of other games that you’ve played at work while the boss isn’t looking – has been up at Just Laugh for a week or three now and people seem to love it, so maybe you will, too? Dan Ferguson & Mike Bielinski are both great guys and the whole thing just flowed really well…it was a blast to do and I’m told that it’s terribly hilarious, which sounds like a compliment to me! Anywho, if you’re looking to read a nice, down-to-earth interview with two of the coolest guys in the industry, I’d recommend that you check it out:

It’s a busy time for me, too, but hopefully I’ll have a couple more things for everyone by the end of the year…at least one for sure – we’ll see how things go and if I really feel like writing anything after the new toys come a rollin’ in! Hehehe…and just in case you haven’t done your shopping yet and still need to pick up something to show your favorite comedic genius just how much you really care, I’ve put together a list of a few last-minute items that I wouldn’t mind finding under the tree! Sure, they’re a tad on the expensive side, but that’s what you get for putting it off until the last minute, you lazy bastards…

5. Tri-Lam Dry Suit ($749.95 @ Divers Supply) – Anyone whose dove in Northern Michigan knows that it’s cold as hell during the summer, so that pretty much rules out any off-season diving altogether! Nonetheless, there are crazy people who do it, and they all have nice, warm drysuits like this one…help me be a crazy person, too!

4. 100 acres of rainforest (~$3985.00 @ World Land Trust) – I’ve got this great Venezualian shopping center that I’ve been wanting to build…just kidding! Quite a noble cause, I do believe, and they could certainly use the help.

3. Gibson Les Paul Custom Electric Guitar, with a wine red finish, ebony fingerboard, and silver hardware ($2,599.99 @ Gibson’s Custom Shop) – I need some serious motivation to get into the swing of things again and let me tell you, there’s no better motivation than a three thousand dollar axe that just screams rock ‘n roll! Lifelong backstage passes when I’m famous to whoever makes this one come true…

2. Pioneer 50″ 16:9 Widescreen Plasma HDTV Flat-Panel TV ($10,999.99 @ Best Buy) – Most everyone knows that I don’t do theaters unless it’s supposed to be a colossal showing (the fame has a downside…), so it only makes sense to have the best setup available in my living room right at home. I first fell in love with this beauty when I saw a display model in the store and it’s the closest thing to being there that I’ve ever seen…and they say that money can’t buy happiness!

1. Some Time Off So That I Can Work on My Novel (??? @ Just Laugh) – I’ve got ideas burning holes in my notepad, but I just never seem to have the time needed to work them out into the typical witty banter that I’m known for…so if somebody could just, like, do all of my work for like maybe, oh I don’t know, six months or something, then maybe I could make a little headway with this thing…

So there’s my list for those who asked – now get cracking! And I’ll probably regret ever posting this, but I’ve decided to finally break down and give the whole webcam-thing another whirl. Someone recently pointed out to me that my cam over at Just Laugh hasn’t been updated since I bought the camera, so I got motivated and took my first official cam picture for Comedic-Genius.com – who knows, maybe you’ll see my face end up in one of those famous cam-portals eventually or something. It’s amazing what will pass as humorous at three in the morning…

Until next time – only eight more shopping days left…use them wisely! 😎

Oh, the weather outside is frightful…

As much as I hate to say it, I think winter’s finally here to stay. How do I know this? Well, the snow out in my driveway which is actually going to require mechanical removal would be my first hint, along with a consistent nagging by my wet socks after wadding through it to back up the theory! Yes, tomorrow’s going to be just a freakin’ blast… 😡

There does come a bit of goodness from all of this, though, as with the coming of winter also inevitably comes my favorite holiday of all – Christmas!!! Even though the house will be lacking the aesthetic qualities (i.e. lights) due to the moving thing this year, I’ve still got plenty of columns and other goodies to brighten your holiday, starting with this little piece below. My original intention, actually, was for this to be a Thanksgiving piece, but things got a little out of control – what can you do?

I also wanted to do a little plugging in this post, not for me actually, even though I could stand to see a bit of cash out of it if the proper response is drummed up! You see, my Dad has been building wooden boats, kayaks to be precise, for the last several years, both as gifts for friends and family and for himself. Well, he’s decided that this was as good a time as any to make an attempt at selling the things professional, so I offered to pitch in a hand and help get a website up and running for the cause. I did finally finish the project a week or two ago, so I would like to take this opportunity to shout out a little ad for the site in hopes that maybe someone out there will be interested in buying a boat of their own. I do think that some clarification is necessary – these aren’t your average run-of-the-mill, mass-produced kayaks. Each one is hand-crafted to the users exact specifications and the pieces are a real beauty before they even touch the water. I won’t lie to you – they ain’t cheap, either – but if you’ve got the money to spend and are looking for a great craft, I’d suggest that you take a look:

Natural Wood Kayaks, by Blue Water Boats

One last note before I go do something productive! I got a little bored this weekend and decided to look a little further into cataloging my DVD collection. I’d considered actually putting together the entire program myself, as some practice with databases and whatnot, but after coming across this program, it hardly seemed to be worth the effort – the old phrase, “No sense in re-inventing the wheel…” came to mind! The software is called DVD Profiler and it allows both an online, web-based interface and a stand-alone client for your home computer, and that alone was enough to sell me…but wait, there’s more! Behind the software sits a user-built database (much like the IMDB, although I couldn’t say whether or not this uses the same information), containing every little detail you could ever imagine about the DVD, from special features to plot summaries to a complete catalog of the actors and actresses involved – it’s really an impressive setup. You can enter your discs either by title, UPC (I did this for most of mine), or you can even insert each disc and let the auto-detect find them if you have a DVD drive in your computer, so entry is pretty painless. They even give you the opportunity to create a wish list, which I thought was a great idea for the upcoming holidays and even though you won’t find me doing the same at Amazon.com or anywhere else, I did manage to throw a few requests up here! I should also add that the software allows you to navigate your own wishlist and make purchases from the major retailers, all while comparing prices within, so that was a neat little extra, too. Summing it up, if you’re a home theater geek like I am and are looking for a great program to help you keep track of it all, along with a method to point the relatives in the right direction when doing your shopping, I’d certainly recommend that you give DVD Profiler a try…

If you’re really bored, or just want to see how much of my money I’ve blown on DVDs so far, click here to see the mother load!

(my wishlist is accessible from that link, too…happy hunting!)  😉

Another link to post – “Laughing is GOOD for you!”

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot…

This story jumped out at me several weeks ago and just refused to let go, so I thought I’d hold on to it until I had the opportunity to share it with somebody:

Looking Forward to a Laugh? Good for You… (courtesy of Yahoo! News)

Apparently this thing that I’ve been doing just might have some positive benefits after all!!! Read two of my columns and call me in the morning… (no, better make it three!)

And for those who are, for whatever reason, interested in this sort of stuff, you should also know that I finally got off my keister and started reading the first of the Harry Potter books this weekend, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Before the uninformed and ill-read get too many laughs in, though, I feel the need to stress that the hype has been absolutely correct – these books are fabulous, or at least this one is so far! Of course, I grew up on the likes of Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, so one might assume that I’d be a bit jaded towards the new guy in town, but I must say that it’s quite reassuring to know that the fantasy world of knights and wizards and dragons is being revived for another generation.

Vs.

Of course, HBO has been playing the crap out of the movie lately because of the current success of its sequel, so it’ll be interesting to see the differences between the two and whether or not it holds up to the whole “The book is always better than the movie…” ideology once I get done. Nonetheless, I can say now that, without a doubt, if you’re looking for a funny and entertaining book to help pass the time that would otherwise end up getting spent talking to relatives over the next few days, then look no further because you’ve got yourself an easy pick right here! From ages 8 to 80, if you haven’t read this book yet and don’t plan to in the near future, I feel sorry for you… 🙄