…we got ’em?

December 17, 2003 10:14pm
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Ok, so it actually took me until this afternoon during lunch to read the paper from Monday about Saddam, so here’s my three cents. I guess I’m playing the conspiracy theorist on this issue, but I know that I’m not alone in saying this – I don’t think it’s really him. Why? Allow me to count the reasons…

1. It just seems too easy. Don’t get me wrong, I know that our armed forces have put in countless hours and lives to this cause, but seriously – this guy has been eluding us for fifteen years and we find him in a fucking hole?! I ain’t buying it.
2. It’s amazingly easy to pass along the blame to others when “they’ve already got you.” All the bad stuff in the world will have to be somebody else’s fault (…Osama’s…) because how does one commit hate crimes from prison???
3. Like somebody told me earlier today, “He gave up without a fight?!” There was an interview in that paper from an ex-marine or something that basically said – this is a man who was documented to have been cornered in the past, emptied every last bullet from his gun into his opponents and thrown the gun itself at them before jumping into a nearby river and swimming to safety. Guys like that don’t just give up without a fight.
4. And of course, who’s due up for re-election here shortly?! Saturday night everyone hated Bush because he’s basically been the most worthless president we’ve ever experienced, but really, who wouldn’t vote for the guy who caught Saddam? I’m not necessarily saying that he was behind it or anything, a la Wag the Dog, but it sure does seem awfully convenient!

And then answer me this – if this man has been responsible for the misery and / or death of millions of people, then why is he still alive? This isn’t one of these folks that falls under the whole “innocent until proven guilty rule” anymore than Hitler or the rulers of the Ottoman Empire – the order was dead or alive, so now that he’s in the sights, what’s the hold up???

That’s right, it’s all about the media coverage…

14 Responses to …we got ’em?

  1. You know they’ve done DNA tests. They know it’s him.

    “The DNA test confirmed 100 percent Saddam Hussein’s identity,” he [Entifadh Qanbar, spokesman for Governing Council…] said.

    Here:
    http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20031214/ap_on_re_mi_ea/iraq_saddam_031214102920

  2. scott says:

    This isn’t merely a crime scene in South Central LA – where does one come across a DNA sample from Saddam Hussein to compare him to?

  3. scott says:

    And by the way…

    …fake beard?! What was he wearing those thick-rimmed glasses with the nose and moustache, too?

    I can see this becoming a Jim Carey movie by next Christmas…

  4. mbuonauro says:

    he’s captured. i saw it on television.

  5. How should I know?! I just read it!

    Either way, I’m sure if they weren’t positive on it, they wouldn’t have posted it all across the Washington Post and AP News.

  6. meg_bunny says:

    *cough* Why, because the media is fair and balanced?

  7. *snort* Because something quite important, such as this issue, probably wouldn’t mention ‘facts,’ only to later tell the public, “Oops, we made a mistake.”

  8. dwbaw says:

    *ahem* Weapons of mass destruction???

  9. dwbaw says:

    `When they arrested you, why didn’t you shoot one bullet?’ ” Saddam replied at length and in anger. In French.

    Source: US News & World Reports

    Make of it what you will. 😉

  10. scott says:

    Don’t they cover current events in school anymore???

    UN Weapons Inspectors: You guys don’t have any weapons of mass destruction, do you?
    Every Single Country in the Middle East: Of course not – we wouldn’t even consider arming ourselves with as much as pointy sticks against your vastly superior military capabilities…even though it’s the only way we could ever really stand a chance!
    UN Weapons Inspectors: Ok, great – thanks for your cooperation!

    *** five minutes later ***

    Every Single Country in the Middle East: Tee hee hee – they specifically asked about ‘weapons of mass destruction,’ not anthrax or viral agents or any of these fucking bombs over here in the corner – we’re in the clear!!!

    American Public: Yay, we’re safe from everyone because the man on tv told us so! Now where’d I leave my beer?

  11. scott says:

    It all makes perfect sense now – Saddam Hussein is actually French…at least it would explain the mood swings.

  12. dwbaw says:

    That’s pretty close to what I was getting at.

    Originally, we went after Iraq because President Bush said they had weapons of mass destruction and they weren’t cooperating with us to discover where they were being kept.

    Then, after many months of futile searching, no weapons are uncovered. However, President Bush never came out and said, “Ooops. I’m sorry, guys. I made a mistake. But since we are already over there, let’s just go ahead and take out the big bad guy, Saddam. M’kay?”

    He basically used the WMD ploy as a smoke screen to drive his main agenda – removing Hussein from power.

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