Happy Fun Time Pizza Statistics!


(link: Pizza Place Geography)

I kind of wish that you could zoom in on the different maps, especially the smaller ones – a Google Maps overlay would’ve been a bit more interactive, but it’s pretty clear that Pizza Hut & Papa John’s are the two dominant forces in my neck of the woods. That said, I would imagine that most folks – including myself – that live in metropolitan areas pretty much have most of these options within 15 miles or so of them … the only one not for my case would be Papa Murphy’s, which I’ve never even heard of.

As for Godfather’s, that still counts if you can buy it in a gas station, right?

Mind you, I wouldn’t, but you could.

Here’s my own personal ranking, as long as we’re on the topic…

  1. Papa John’s – despite the owner’s healthcare kerfuffle that I’m never going to let go, I still love their pizza
  2. Pizza Hut – a close second, mostly because of stuffed crust
  3. Domino’s – this one is growing on me once again … their new recipe really is a ton better
  4. Little Caesar’s – it’s cheap, but edible, and it reminds me of my childhood when “Pizza! Pizza!” was their shtick
  5. CiCi’s – I loved the concept of a pizza buffet, but the idea is wasted because they make fucking terrible pizza
  6. Chuck E. Cheese’s – I honestly haven’t been in one in decades, but I liked the concept … before I started going to Disney World on a regular basis…
  7. Godfather’s – eaten it maybe twice and aren’t exactly rushing to my local Hess to grab another slice
  8. Sbarro – bleh – every mall in America has this same shitty 4″-high, pizza-like monstrosity
  9. Papa Murphy’s – papa who?

Sometimes I wish that there was a really good, local place that I could embrace, but I honestly haven’t cared for anything I’ve tried that’s not chain places thus far. I’m not at all a fan of New York-style pizza – to me, that just means thin, dry, burnt crust and ultra-greasy cheese, and any of the top 3 above make a far better pie in my opinion. The 800-degree wood stove just doesn’t do anything for me – instead, just gimme some nice, doughy crust, a nice variety of cheese, and if you coat a little garlic butter on the outside edge of the crust, I’ll love you forever.

Man, now I’m hungry… 😀

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *