2015 Holiday Advent Blog – Day 10 – Scott’s Christmas Mix Tape, volume 4

I’ve kind of been more into the older, more classic holiday tunes lately, as noted in this year’s 4th edition of my Christmas Mix Tapes – the other three of which can be found right here…

Not sure why I didn’t put one of these together last year, but it’s fun to look back and see which holiday songs I was rocking out to in the previous years and I’ve got a feeling as Christopher gets a bit older and can more eloquently vocalize his radio demands in the car, we’ll be seeing the list trend rather differently still! But until then…

  1. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas (performed by Johnny Mathis)
  2. The Christmas Song (performed by Nat King Cole)
  3. Happy Holidays (performed by Andy Williams)
  4. Sleigh Ride (performed by John Williams & The Boston Pops)
  5. White Christmas (performed by Bing Crosby)
  6. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (performed by Frank Sinatra)
  7. Let It Snow! (performed by Dean Martin)
  8. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year (performed by Andy Williams)
  9. Walking in a Winter Wonderland (performed by Dean Martin)
  10. Christmas Time is Here (by Vince Guaraldi)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g_at4YiHHU&list=PLaYp2Xj2ShlEarXhJg29kGgvmJIbaWFaf

2015 Holiday Advent Blog – Day 9 – Training the Next Toys ‘R Us Kid

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I love buying toys for my kid!

Everybody said that this Christmas would really be the one to remember because unlike last year when he was less than a year old and still crawled everywhere to and fro, a year later he’s very much vibrant and alive and full of energy, and even though it certainly makes him a bit tougher to keep up with, there are definitely other benefits to his newfound interactivity as well…

Even long before Christopher was born, I’ve always loved me some Toys ‘R Us and could spend hours getting lost in their aisles, perusing and goofing off like any kid at heart does, but now that I’ve got an accomplice … a mini-me of sorts to gawk and giggle at the multitude of toys right along with his old man … wandering around our favorite neighborhood toy store has become a whole new level of fun!

It’ll be interesting to see how it is when he gets a little older and really wants all of these things for himself because right now I’m a horrible influence as a parent when we visit Toys ‘R Us. Case in point is the same Elmo that you see aside my bubbly son in the picture above … here we are – only two weeks until Christmas – and do you think that I put his red, furry friend back on the shelf with the notion that maybe Santa will bring him for Christmas if he’s REALLY good?!

Heck no!

Elmo came home with us tonight, along with a new Lego set for me and a couple of random Christmas gifts for others in the family who I promise aren’t me or Christopher. But just as *I* can’t set foot inside of a Toys ‘R Us as a 35 year-old adult without picking out a new toy for myself, it just doesn’t seem right that my son – my own flesh and blood – should have to suffer a worser fate than I!

So yeah, I grew up pretty spoiled and I fully intend to raise my own son the exact same way. I mean, I turned out alright, didn’t I??? 😉

2015 Holiday Advent Blog – Day 7 – Christmas at SeaWorld

So yesterday we spent the day at SeaWorld Orlando awing at whales and learning about sea turtles and just generally enjoying the Christmas spirit as they pumped Christmas music around the decorated park. We haven’t actually been to SeaWorld in about eight years and even then was only a brief visit during our engagement trip, so it was neat both to revisit the park as well as introduce Christopher to it for the first time, all on top of getting to experience the place all decked out for the holidays for the first time to boot!

Granted, it fell a bit short of throwing a giant Santa hat on a 6,000-pound killer whale, but I thought they still did a nice job, particularly unique to the whole SeaWorld atmosphere with all of the illuminated trees lit up across the harbor a la the Sea of Trees. Christopher has gotten more and more into Sesame Street recently and absolutely loved Elmo’s Christmas Wish, and we even got to meet Santa, albeit I’ve never really been a fan of The Polar Express that his “attraction” – if you will – was based on…

We ended up getting passes to SeaWorld (and Legoland!) for Black Friday this year, so I’ll probably have some more to write up about the park in the future, but for now it was just a nice celebration in a new place we don’t normally visit, and my kid got to make some brand new sea turtle friends to boot! 😉

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Dream Journal : The Last Astronaut

It started off like just some sort of adult space camp, if you will – a group of about nine of us got to go up for two launches, we’d fly around in space for a bit, and then come back down … no biggie.

I was surprisingly comfortable with the whole excursion, presumably because a lot of the adventure simply consisted of sleep – we’d takeoff from Earth, fly around a bit once we settled in orbit, and then the next bit was somewhat of a blur as we’d fall asleep for a while and then wake up ready to come back home. One time before this part happened, I recall being slightly concerned about not waking up and how dangerous what we were doing really was, but soon I was out and that was that…

It wasn’t until our group got called back for another run that I learned that something was up.

It turned out that the world was in peril of … something … and we had been tasked to do … something … in order to save the world. There were still nine of us total, each with a particular reason why we had been chosen that wasn’t shared with the others.

When it was finally time for us to go, I accidentally stalled the rest of the group because I wanted a glass of orange juice – which the rest had been enjoying before boarding – but there weren’t anymore clean glasses, which was apparently really important because we had all been sterilized to go out into space, so there was a good bit of scrambling trying to find me a clean glass so that we could go. At one point the captain stood at the door to the spacecraft and shouted, “I’ll go buy him one my goddamn self!” and shortly thereafter, I had my glass and was good to go… 😕

The “sleeping” that we had endured in our previous trials was actually a test to make sure that we could survive the hypersleep required to get us to the alien world which we were traveling to – they didn’t tell us how far away it was, which I figured is never a good sign if they won’t even tell you.

By the time we awoke much, much later, we were quickly being deployed to a planet that looked remarkably like ours … because it was ours, only several hundred years in the past.

Strangely there was nobody to be found as we toured abandoned structures that looked a lot like modern shopping malls that we know today. They were a bizarre mix of modern and thick jungle, and eventually we stumbled upon this puzzle that we identified as what we had traveled all that way to solve. Nothing seemed to make much sense as we moved pieces around and placed different objects on the small altar made of stone, until one of our group was able to playback this weird, 3D rendering from the past that depicted another group like ours trying to solve the same puzzle.

What was different was that this group was very much alien, and each time that they failed, a giant ship would appear in the sky and scoop them all back up just before the world went dark, almost as if these visitors were also trying to save the world and were being evacuated just prior to the destruction setting in…

We hadn’t really thought about how we were all getting back home up until that point.

It was in watching these aliens work that we realized somehow we were off a year in when we had landed to solve the puzzle, and somehow we were able to hop back in time to find that now our offerings on the altar were at least getting a response out of the puzzle whereas before it had just remained silent.

We tried placing a couple of random things we found lying around like rocks and sticks, treating it as if it was some sort of attenuator that just needed a certain weight to trigger what it was looking for. Inexplicably, I had been carrying with me this strange, black anamorphic goo that seemed to react badly to anyone but myself – I tried placing it on the altar, but whenever I tried to back away, it turned into this really nasty bug/scorpion-thing and tried to attack anything near it, so we eventually gave up on that idea.

As everyone split up to scour the mall for items to try in the altar, I found myself in this Disney store that featured all sorts of statuettes from the movies, which didn’t really fit with the times but I wasn’t questioning in this bizarre world at that point. We all came back with armloads of things to try, all of which failed as the clock ticked closer and we kept trying to watch the 3D alien playback for more clues.

It wasn’t until I noticed something that no one else had in the video that I had a sinking feeling of how the puzzle was to be solved.

It was an altar, and altars require a sacrifice.

Somehow it wanted the strange, black goo that I carried with me, but with it only favoring me, I was going to have to stay behind to keep in under control in order for the puzzle to complete.

The dream faded out on this unexpected notion that whether the rest of the group with me could make it back themselves or not, I was going to have to stay behind to save whatever was left of my friends and family back home on modern day Earth.

2015 Holiday Advent Blog – Day 4 – Sick Christmas Humor

Been unexpectedly under the weather the last couple of days, but surprisingly I did still manage to squeeze a new humor column out of the miserable experience – with eggnog and gingerbread influences, no less!

The Immune System of a French Hen
At least if you’re one of the birds stuck in that dreadful song, you’ve got some backup in case one of your feathered friends unexpectedly comes down with the bird flu.

Adam Ruins Everything is PERFECT

I’ve watched a few random clips of this over the last couple of weeks, but I finally tracked down the full show on TruTV and I’ve got to say that I kind of love it. Adam Conover delivers a seemingly perfect blend of comedy and cynicism to correct common misconceptions that we encounter every day. Things like thinking our credit cards are secure because we sign the back of the card or that donating things for charity drives is actually productive.

The first season is actually almost over, which on the plus side means that there are TONS of clips currently available on YouTube if you’re too cheap to actually pay for a cable subscription the normal way. I’ve still got a few episodes myself to go, but here are a few more of the ones I’ve liked the best so far…

Guns

I don’t know the answer to our ridiculous mass shootings record here in America, but I don’t think I’m the only one who’s uncomfortable with just how ingrained guns have become in American culture.

It really is a cultural thing for us at this point because if you even mention talking about gun control, people go nuts about their 2nd amendment rights being infringed and how we’ve currently got 75,000 gun control laws already on the books and those ones never seem to work … people who love guns are convinced that anything but guns must be the problem, and yet the rest of us who aren’t gun nuts – and even some who are – still beg to ask the question…

…why do we have to have all of these GUNS lying around the country?!

I mean, I thought the statistic of more guns than people that I read last night was pretty alarming, but then to compound that by considering that only 40% of Americans own guns … that means that here in the United States of America, roughly 140 million people own roughly 350 million guns.

I’d love to dig even deeper into that statistic because I think it would be real telling to pull out how many of those 140 million own only one gun vs. how many of them own lots and lots of guns because just like the extremists that we observe in politics and religion and everywhere else, I’ve got a feeling there are probably a few backwoods militias jacking those numbers up quite a bit to get to the full 350 million guns owned.

And I guess the reason I say that I don’t even know the answer anymore is because although I don’t want to ban guns entirely, it frankly makes me very uncomfortable that we have almost half our population that’s this emphatic about owning these tools whose primary motive is for killing. We don’t see knife enthusiasm to this extent, and cars at least have a primary focus of transportation despite being responsible for a lot of deaths as well.

What is it about guns that so many Americans seem to fetishize to the point where we can’t even talk about them after shootings have become literally a daily headline in our nation???

I read a rather scary notion earlier today where somebody roughly said that “the war on gun control was lost after Sandy Hook” because when we weren’t able to make a dent even after a classroom of school kids got murdered in cold blood, it was already clear that America at large simply wasn’t interested in talking about its gun problem because if you ask the people carrying the guns, they’re all convinced that we don’t have one … or that it would somehow be solved if we were all carrying even more guns.

And that makes me sad because even if it was the right answer, you’ll never pull 350 million guns back off the streets of America – Donald Trump has a better chance of rounding up all of the illegal immigrants and showing them the door … all by himself.

Are the people who are pro-gun simply too in love with their weapons for America to ever shake its mass shooting stats?

It’s one of those questions that I’m not sure if we’ll ever answer until the whole thing just implodes, and yet, just under three years ago you could argue that it already did implode when 20 first graders lost their lives at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012.

Since that tragedy at Sandy Hook, over 1,300 more people have been killed in over 1,000 individual shootings in the United States in the last 3 years.

That’s almost as many American soldiers who died during the war in Afghanistan, except these all happened on U.S. soil.

If another country had been responsible for so many American lives lost within our own borders, we’d have declared war three years ago, but because it’s in our own fault, and it’s about guns, instead we do nothing.

2015 Holiday Advent Blog – Day 3 – A Family Truckster Realization

So I noticed something interesting late this evening while I was watching National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation whilst buried under a mountain of kleenex. I’d never really thought much about it before because it’s really only featured in the opening scene, but the Family Truckster – the iconic mode of transport that takes the family to Wally World in the first Vacation movie – isn’t actually the same car as the one in the first movie!

Now maybe this is completely intentional, but because I’ve got plenty of cough syrup coursing through my veins *I* thought it was an interesting, fun little fact. And granted, the movies themselves were released 6 years apart, so it could be argued that of course it’s a new car, although it seems like my own family growing up milked our family Oldsmobile for far longer than that.

PLUS!!!

The Truckster that made its cameo in this year’s Vacation sequel in fact was the original car, or at least one that looked a lot like it, so … that!

Anyways, here’s the original…

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And here’s the version from Christmas Vacation, which appears to just be some sort of Ford Taurus painted to resemble the unmatchable Family Truckster…

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I tell you, it really broke the continuity for me to see all of those sleek and sexy curves of the Taurus in place of the blocky, ton of bricks-exterior that the original Truckster was known for. Ok, so not really, but cough syrup will do strange things to a man, so frankly you’re lucky your even getting advent blog posts at all right now!

Holiday ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ad, holiday ro-o-o-o-o-o-ad…