Dream Journal : Balrog Hide and Seek

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So Gandalf, Frodo, and I were fighting the Balrog … apparently in the setting of some sort of Laurel & Hardy skit!

We were inside a small log cabin and he was outside.

First, Frodo went out the door “to distract the Balrog,” which didn’t work well because he was immediately eaten.

Then Gandalf and I noticed a second door on the side of the house, so as the Balrog banged on the door like he was the Big, Bad Wolf asking to come in, we ran over to the other door and snuck out the side entrance.

We rounded the corner of the house just in time to see the Balrog ducking in the front door, sneaking back into the house ourselves when he discovered the side door and came back out.

This game pretty much continued on and on FOREVER. 😕

Push It to the Limit!

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This song amuses me to no end simply because I was first introduced to it while playing Grand Theft Auto 3 and listening to the ridiculous lyrics, I legitimately thought that it was a fictional song that had been made up for the game – in line with all of the great fictional ads like PetsOvernight.com and the Maibatsu Monstrosity!

“Welcome to the limit!”

Revisiting Just Laugh magazine, Part 1…

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I have some really good memories about my earlier years of working on Just Laugh, and the last couple of days I’ve been revisiting some of them as I’ve been slowly adding in some of the older content from Just Laugh magazine to the new site’s archives. It’s kind of awesome to think of how many great humorists were all contributing to that site back in the day – I’m not quite sure how I’m going to get there just yet, but I’m really looking forward to rekindling a bit of that spirit with a new team of contributors once I get to the point where it makes sense to add more content.

Anyways, this pass had me going through the works of Linda Sharp, Kim Burke, Michael Buonauro and Jeff Lofvers of Dr. Lobster, our resident advice expert Savannah Lawless, the great Deep Fried, Live! animated series from 8 Legged Entertainment, Ink, Paint & Tears… courtesy of myself and my sister, as well as the rest of my own humor columns that hadn’t been imported into the new site yet. It’s a little crazy to think that all of this stuff was produced over a decade ago, but nonetheless here are some of my own personal favorites…

And believe it or not, I’ve still got over another dozen left to go through, so I’ll be sure to share more of my favorites as I continue working through the pile every couple of weeks until everyone’s back together on justlaugh.com right where they belong! 😉

Dream Journal : A Really Weird Trip to Disney

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So where to begin???

Apparently we were on a trip to Disney World with some friends and family – we started off in a park that was kind of like but not actually the Magic Kingdom, and we found ourselves getting separated a lot.

One ride that we went on had you sitting individually in a car that went under the water, meaning that you got wet, and it had different sections of the ride where you’d ride for a bit then get out and wait in line some more. Not everyone went on this one because my Dad wasn’t able to, and I found myself separated from the group and melded into another couple of guys’ group instead.

Somehow I guess one of the guys knew an Imagineer who worked there and that guy suddenly showed up and whisked us all away to an area off stage where he was showing off whatever he was working on at the time … yet for some reason I got the impression that it wasn’t exactly a sanctioned Disney project, but more like he was just doing his own thing on company time!

Eventually we wandered back to the queue and skipped ahead of everyone else in line to jump into the next boat to get soaked once again and finish the ride. When we got off and went our separate ways, I was in the process of trying to figure out where everyone else had went when I ran into someone I knew from camp and got in line for some safari ride with him … until we caught up with the rest of his buddies – whom I couldn’t stand – and bowed out to go find the rest of my own family & friends…

By the time I found everyone, it was starting to rain really hard and they wanted to go back to the hotel to take a break.

The hotel was weird because our “room” ended up being more like a cabin tent – very similar to the ones we stayed in at scout camp, but much, much larger – and there we hung out for a while until the group began bickering among itself about whether to go back to the park or not because some felt they’d be wasting $100 admission by only going for a few hours and missing out on the evening fireworks.

I eventually got tired of the arguing and left on my own to go wander and explore the resort a bit, which was apparently all decorated up for the holidays – in particular, there were tons of Legos and Christmas decorations everywhere. The resort also seemed to have a lot of tiny passages which made them hard for guests to traverse, and as a result there were several of the more themed areas that weren’t at all packed with people.

At one point I wandered into a staging area for a short karaoke show that they were going to do, which didn’t really interest me in the slightest except for behind me in line on the escalator was a guy and his girl … who happened to be a very undercover Nicki Manoj … even though in the dream she was very white, which goes to show you subconsciously how much I actually know about Nicki Manoj!!!

Anyways, the guy she was with was prodding her to enter and sing a quick song, and once I “realized” who she was I jumped onboard and offered to split the massive $12 entry fee with him, so we each paid $6 and she agreed to perform. But then she didn’t … the contest was weird … I don’t really know what happened, but as they were going to leave, I followed behind and awkwardly asked if I could at least get her autograph or something, which apparently made her even more uncomfortable and the two quickly disappeared.

So I continued exploring the resort and gawking at all of the decorations. They had a really cool mini Lego store filled with all sorts of sets I didn’t have, so that was neat. Then I found a small greeting area where kids were getting their pictures taken with Santa, so I broke down and texted my friend to see if they at least wanted to come and meet Santa because there was hardly any line whatsoever.

As I was walking back towards the “tent area,” I got a little lost so I asked a young cast member for directions and she seemed very eager to show me in person where I needed to go. Along the way she pointed out a few things that were slightly in disarray, like they had a couple of huge ice skating rinks that were supposed to be open, but instead they were still filling them with water, and then we passed by a huge bundle of red Christmas lights that had just been left on the sidewalk and never put up…

…and that’s when I pulled her aside and asked her discretely if things at Disney were kind of getting run down lately, which she quickly but nervously agreed to. The girl shared a bit more until one of her bosses walked by and quickly pulled her away, almost as if he knew she was telling me things that she wasn’t supposed to, and I never saw her again.

Then on my way back it suddenly got really weird!

Somebody shot me! But not with a regular gun – instead, this gun had these strange, green, cone-shaped bullets that seemed to hurt even more than a regular bullet, but I pulled it out of my leg and limped back to the tent where my friends and family were, along with a bunch of other random people by that point. It seemed that we represented some sort of unwanted race, like mutants or something, and the green cone-bullets were very deadly to our kind, though I turned out to be fine.

We showed how dangerous they were by throwing a few of them into a nearby dirt pile and each of the cones exploded as they landed, and one guy really pissed me off by jokingly coming at me with one of the cones like he was going to throw it at me.

It was then that I pushed my way to the back of the tent where my family was and announced to everyone that we had to go – now – and you could hear a ruckus outside of something happening. Though it was unclear exactly what, we knew that it couldn’t be anything good and that it probably had something to do with us. When I was packing my backpack to bring, I found a brand new revolver and at first I went to stick it in the back of my jeans, but someone warned that they might search us and I put it in my bag instead … even though my Dad at that point was carrying a rifle or something in plain sight.

Before we had a chance to leave, a sheriff showed up and pushed his way to the back of the tent where we are and after talking, he tried to escort us out. I don’t remember exactly what happened after that point, but I know that it suddenly got very crazy very quick and it soon became clear that we were nowhere near Disney World anymore…

Learning is Amazing

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One of the things that really seems to marvel me so far as a father is watching my son learn things for the very first time.

Like seeing all of the great stuff that he’s been learning in swim class.

Or a few weeks ago when we were walking around Target and I was trying to teach him how to blow to pass time.

Or tonight when I decided to be brave and handed over the spoon for the first time during dinner, only to watch him take several bites all by himself like a big boy!!!

Or, I suppose maybe … learning to walk might also be a good one for the list! 😉

It just amazes me when I stop and think about it … the idea of this little, tiny human who basically started a little over a year ago at zero, and then each day he’s getting a little older, he’s learning everything that he can pick up about the world around him.

I mean, until recently even something as simple as getting dressed has always been a Daddy orchestrated event and yet in the last couple of weeks he’s been helping me put his shirts on by reaching for the arm holes himself … I don’t know, but it’s just the neatest thing to watch him grow and learn and develop tastes and preferences and things that he likes and doesn’t like, and a sense of humor, and even right and wrong … albeit that one’s presently limited to mostly harmless things like biting his parents and hitting the dog, for what it’s worth!

You kind of take for granted learning for yourself, or I suppose it’s just being experienced from the opposite perspective, but to get to see all of that development as he slowly grows into the person that he’s going to be? I didn’t start out writing this intending it to be a father’s day thing, but I suppose it’s kind of appropriate because so far watching Christopher learn has been one of those little treasures for me that nobody tells you about, but it’s just amazing.

A Bucket List of Sorts for 2015

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Many moons ago I put together a list of My Hopes & Dreams … I was probably in my early twenties when I assembled that list of great things that I’d like to accomplish in this life, and whether or not you can tell that from looking over the list is debatable!

Nonetheless, as times have changed and here I’m another decade older, I found myself in the mood this weekend to put together another list – not necessarily to replace my hopes & dreams of yesteryear, mind you – but more so as a reflection of where I am in this particular moment in time as I look ahead at the years to come.

This time I’ve organized them by category to make everything a bit easier to follow. Also, I suppose you might not necessarily consider this “a bucket list” because the intent certainly isn’t a list of stuff to do before I die, but more just stuff that I’d like to do in the future that sounds like fun. 😀

Travel

  • Visit every Disney park around the world (12 total, I’ve visited the 6 in the USA thus far)
  • Visit Europe and spend a month or more soaking in the countryside
    • Specifically visit as many castles as possible
  • Go on a Disney cruise
  • Visit Aulani, the DVC Resort out in Hawaii
  • Make road trips a regular Sevener family excursion, and make them fun
  • Visit more of the natural and historic sites around our state and country, possibly as part of said road trips
  • Rent an RV and travel across the country … even though my wife says I would absolutely hate it

Home

  • Build the house of our dreams early enough so that our kids remember growing up in it
  • Own a pool that’s warm enough for swimming more than two months out of the year
  • Setup a personal arcade in said dream house with arcade cabinets, pinball machines, and a pool table
  • Own a salt water tank … even if it requires paying someone else to maintain it to keep the fish alive

Tech & Geek Stuff

  • Expand my home server into a full rack with proper backups and wired connections to feed the entire house
  • Create a Christmas light display that’s fully programmable via computer
  • Do the same thing with outdoor lighting and landscaping at said awesome dream house
  • Setup a big screen in my office to monitor real time the performance of my websites, books sold, and other fun stats

Collections

  • Build a collection of every NES and SNES game ever made for my arcade
  • Complete my collection of near mint boxes of all of the original Nintendo black box games
  • Complete my Lego Collectible Minifig collection
  • Revisit other memorable toys & games from my childhood to collect and go overboard as time and money permit

Hobbies

  • Find the time to start SCUBA diving again
  • …and playing guitar
  • …and reading more
  • …and playing video games on a regular basis

Speaking of Video Games

  • 100% completion for Grand Theft Auto 3 (probably my favorite “new age” game)
  • Do some sort of online creative project going through every NES game ever made
  • Play every Final Fantasy game in chronological order
  • Play every Mario game in chronological order – even the terrible ones

Writing Career

  • Publish a collection of books large enough to fill an entire book shelf
  • Build Just Laugh into a force for hilarity and good
  • Find that one creative project that defines me

Personal Stuff

  • Find new and exciting and different ways to explore life with my wife
  • Save more than enough money for retirement
  • Raise my kid not to be a complete asshole
  • Spend more time with family and friends, near and far

Did I miss anything this time around??? If I did, maybe I’ll remember to catch it next decade… 😯

Star Fox Zero trailer

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This looks like it could be fun! I still have quite fond memories of when the original Star Fox came out for the Super Nintendo … for whatever reason, my Dad had to go to some sales conference downstate for a week and the family came with him, and they brought my SNES with us to help keep me entertained. The first day we made a trip over to Toys ‘R Us because we didn’t have one up north and I got my copy of the hottest new polygon-based game to hit the system!

As one may have suspected, I didn’t really have much desire to even leave the hotel room the rest of the week while we were there… 😉

It’s kind of crazy to look back at the graphics that were really pushing the 16-bit SNES to its limits and then see this new game that will be released in full HD this fall for the Wii U. I honestly never played Star Fox 64 or any of the other games beyond the original, but this might be a fun one to pop in come Christmastime to see how it continues on with the tradition!

Aside from that weird chicken robot that apparently your ship can turn into on land, it looks pretty cool so far!

What do I want out of life???

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I’ve been kind of musing on this topic in my head for the last couple of weeks, so it seemed only fair to finally let some of it out here on digital paper in a more fluid form. I’m about to turn 35 in a couple of months, and my kid is already a year old and starting to walk, and I kind of feel like I’m coming to a crossroads of sorts in my life that I’m not entirely sure what to make of just yet.

…so this is me trying to figure that out… 😉

So anyways, what do I want out of life???

I want to live a life in which I feel generally happy … one where stress is a minor influence rather than a dominating force … one where I can look back at a given period of time and feel good about the work/life balance that exists and how I’ve been able to spend my time doing the things that I like to do as compared with the things that I have to do.

I want creativity to be a driving force in my days … where I spend a significant part of my time creating things that other people enjoy and get something positive out of … something that can build over several decades to a career catalog that I can look back at and be proud of the things that I’ve made … and I’d like to derive the wealth that I need throughout my life from this body of creative work.

I want family time to be a regular part of my everyday … not something that I have to sacrifice to attain the other goals that I’ve set for myself … and not something that I feel guilty about indulging in because there was work to be done instead … and certainly not something that I look back at much later in life, regretting how much I sacrificed it for anything else.

I want my home to be a place of sanctuary … where I can relax at the end of a long day with my feet up and a tropical drink in my hand … where child and beast can roam (relatively) free until every last drop of energy has been thoroughly spent … where I can look up at the stars or out at the water or nature or whatever and find myself surrounded by something that’s infinitely more peaceful than more houses within a stone’s throw away.

I want to travel … to places around town that we’ve never been … and across the country … and across the world … to see strange and amazing things that we’ve only read in books … and to rekindle time with family that is often lost when living on far corners of the nation.

I want to have free time … to revisit old habits like playing the guitar and SCUBA diving and reading … and to explore new ones like hiking and boating and actually being physically fit … and occasionally I want to be able to stay up all night playing video games and eating pizza, too.

I want to enjoy every month of every year for what it offers … and I want less of that “Where does the time go?” feeling that seems to rear its head more and more.

I want more good days than less than good days … as defined by feeling good about the various situations and decisions and facets that make up each one of them at the end of the day.

I want a lot of things out of life. Some would probably say that I’m being greedy and should learn to just love life as it’s been dealt to me, but that’s not good enough for me. I think that too many people in our world settle for things just being the way they are instead of pushing those seemingly immovable forces in their lives to do better, whereas if I look back throughout history it was the people who did the impossible things that inspire me to strive for more.

I read a great quote the other day that went something like – “Don’t be afraid to dream bigger – nobody else is going to do it for you.”

Of course, dreaming is only half the equation – the other half of the challenge lies in actually following your dreams to go out and make them a reality. And I guess you could say that’s the crossroads where I find myself at today, which is weird because I feel like I’ve already been on this road for a long time, but at the same time I’d hate to change course now when the good stuff could be right around the next bend. Still, I can’t help but wondering at this juncture just how long the road goes, or at the very least just how long this particular metaphor goes…

Just keep on truckin’?

Sure, I think we can go ahead and end it there for now… 😛

movie thoughts … Draft Day

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MV5BMjAyOTMxMjA3Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMTMwNjQ4MDE@._V1_SX214_AL_This is one of those movies that I stumbled across at 2am when I really should’ve just been going to bed, but I didn’t … and despite not really caring a lick about sports, it actually ended up being pretty entertaining.

The whole story follows about a 12-hour period leading up until NFL Draft Day when all of the managers are fighting over who’s going to pick who, and it was almost surprising how exciting they made the story flow from one conflict to another until everything all got wrapped up neatly with a nice, little bow at the end.

The only casting that I didn’t really care for was Jennifer Garner as Costner’s wife … when I first saw her appear on the screen with “news,” I honestly thought she was going to say he was going to be a grandpa. Which is funny if you consider just the other day there was a news story about a 37 year-old Maggie Gyllenhaal being told that she’s too old to play the lover of a 55 year-old man … in this movie Kevin Costner is 60 compared to Garner’s 43 and I thought that she looked way too young for him!

Plus the whole baby arc admittedly kind of felt like a forced plot for the sake of having one, but whatever.

The rest of the movie was enjoyable, or at least 2am enjoyable. I kind of liked Denis Leary’s role just because it didn’t plug him into the loud and ever-boisterous character that he usually becomes, and everyone else frankly just kind of stayed out of Kevin Costner’s way and let him deal with his issues.

In a way it sort of reminded me of Sports Night, which was one of my favorite comedies because despite being about sports, more so it was really about the characters and their relationships and interactions, and the sports themselves were more of a backdrop than a focal point. I didn’t need to understand plays and strategies and how trading works to enjoy this movie – it was just kind of fun to watch how the chaos all unfolded…